Chapter 13- My selfish desires

Chapter 13- My selfish desires

A Chapter by Esther Night

These hormones were driving me crazy. These dreams were getting more intense and harder to figure out.

Matt and I are kissing on Donovan's couch. It's soft and slow, yet hot and passionate. I pull away. My close my eyes and try to change him into a girl. The hottest girl I could think of. The kind of girls on magazine covers. Huge breast, a nice butt, pretty face, whatever a 15-year-old boy could want. A half-naked supermodel appears top of me. I force a smile and kiss her. But within five seconds she turns back to into Matt. Don't matter how many times I change him into her it changes back.

Then I heard Donovan's voice boom, "Hey Hunter, get up"

I woke up on my first day of my sophomore year with a goal. I was going to try to make out with as many girls as I could. I was going to try to slack off as much as could. I was going to try to like myself, which meant to become someone else.


I walked into the high school with an overly excited Matt.

"I'm telling you Jamie, a new year and new me." He cheered.

I laughed, "Your wild man"

Then we saw Alfreda talking to another girl.

Matt stood nervously beside me.  

He looked over at Alfreda, “Just that…look at her."

"Just go up to her and say hi, you've known her all your life."

He mumbled, "But look at her."

I had to admit she had gotten kind of hot. She had really “grown”.  

She smiled when she saw him. She acted just like herself, waving and walking up to us. She gave each of us a hug. “Hey guys. How was your summer?”

Matt shrugged, “Okay…so how was the rain forest?”

Alfreda and her family had spent the summer trying to save the rain forest in Brazil. Her parents were earthy types. However she wasn’t.

“While I enjoyed my parents including me in their activism, I couldn’t stand another night living in that hut and I don’t matter what my mom says chaining yourself to a tree is not fun.”

She and I laughed like normal. However Matt’s chuckle sounded more like a witch. It was his nervous laugh.          

“Yea” he cracked, “Because trees and chains are not fun at all.”

I bit my lip.

Alfreda shifted her eyes and stared at me, her eyes basically saying "help".

I gave her my "I'm sorry my best friend is a dork" face.


I turned around to see Donovan behind me with a packet of paper. "Hey Hunter, I wanted to tell you about this poetry contest…"

"Shh" I cut him off.

"Poetry contest?" Matt asked with his eyebrow raised.

"I don't" I yelled, "He must be out his mind if he thinks that I care about some shitting poetry thing."

Donovan stared at me with disappointment and shifted his eyes between Matt and me.

"I'm sorry" he smirked throwing his hands up.


On my way to lurch Alfreda grabbed me by the arm. She dragged me into girl's bathroom. The other girls didn't seem to mind me coming in they just went on redoing their make-up.

"I have a plan" She stated.


"I have a plan to get Matthew and me together."

"Okay? What is it?"

"You have to ask me out"

I grasped, "What? I don't want to do that."

"Why? Am I not good enough for you?" she jokingly smirked.

I shook my head, "No, it's not that. I just wouldn't want to that to Mac…wait do you like him or not?"

She nodded and smiled, "I do, I really do…you know more than anybody that Matthew and I are supposed to be together. When we were two…"

"Yea yea he said that too." I mumbled.

"Really?" She giggled clapping her hands.

I nodded getting more and more annoyed, "So what this plan you have?"

"Okay, we both know that Matthew is so sweet and shy that he’s too afraid to ask me. I figured if we make it seem like I'm going on a date with you that it will make my Matt jealous."

"But he’s is going to hate me."

"Oh come on, he'll be mad at you for like a day, but he'll forgive you.

You're 'his Jamie'…"

"Wait, what you mean by that?"

She laughed, "Oh you know that Matthew can't live without you. He always talks about how proud he is that you’re his best friend."

"Really?" I giggled clapping my hands.

"Yea," she rolled her eyes, "but anyway if we make Matt jealous I think that will give him the nerve."

"I don't know about this."

"Come on, don't you want Matt to be happy?"

I would have to put a side my selfish desires.

"Okay Alfreda"


I walked into the lurch room to see Matt beating his head on the table.

I hated seeing him frown, but I knew that this wasn't a time when I could

make him happy.

"Alfreda has a date" he groaned, "You warned me this would happen. You said if I didn't make a move someone else would."

"I did" I nodded.

"I wondered who asked her" He smirked.

"I did, I asked her out" I said with my best poker face.

He was speechless.

"See ya" I walked out trying to act as normal as I can.

I hated lying to him, but I knew it was something I had to get used to.


He wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the day, so I went to dinner with Alfreda. As we walked in we saw Matt sitting a booth with some girl.

"Matt is talking to Donna" She whispered to me as we ordered, "That's a part of the plan."


"She tricks into him into a date, and he'll do it to get back at us."

"You really have thought a lot about this" I smirked. She would be smart like that.

She nodded with pride.

We grabbed our burgers and sat in a corner.

"So what I'm I supposed to do on this date?"

She laughed, "Well just act out your moves."

"My moves?" I questioned as I chewed.

"Oh you know, put your arm around me. You know, act like you were going to kiss me…"

I grasped and bits of hamburger flung out of my mouth, "We gotta kiss?"

She raised her eyebrow in disgust handing me a nampkin, "No"

I swallowed my food then nodded in agreement.

"I really hope this works" I half lied.

"Thank you for doing this James." She whispered.

"It's really nothing" I groaned.

Then came the sound of Matt's fake laugh. The second he saw us he grabbed Donna’s hand.

"Hi Matthew" Alfreda called out to him.

"Hey Mac" I waved.

He ignored the both of us.

I didn’t know what do to next so I put my arm around Alfreda. In corner of my eye I saw Matt rolled his hurt little eyes and put his arm around his date.

Alfreda noticed it too as she shifted closer to me.

Then I made a big show of shoving tic tats in my mouth.

That’s when Matt ran out.

"Matt" Naturally I got right up to go after him, and then Alfreda tugged at my arm.

"Let me go talk to him" she said as she moved pass me.

I wanted to protest. I wanted to scream out that this all a mistake. I wanted to grab Matt and say I'm sorry and kiss him. But I had to remind myself that would be selfish. That would mess things up even more.

So I stood there and watched them. Frist they yelled a bit. Then they smiled. Then…she kissed him. His reaction was slow almost like he was unsure, but the he closed his eyes real tight and lean into it. I crossed my arms and pretend not to care. I knew it wouldn't be their last kiss. I knew that it was coming, but for some reason I still found it hard to watch.

Matt turned to me, "So this was a set up?"

I shamefully nodded.

He suddenly put his arms around me. I used all of my brain power not to pull him close to me...because that would be creepy.

Instead I pushed him away and laughed, "Now get back in there."

I quietly left as they kissed some more.


I dropped on to Donovan's sofa and took a deep breath.

"They’re now dating." I whispered to myself, "They were together when I met them. This is how it's supposed to be. Why aren't I happy for them?” I put my hands over my eyes.

"You okay Hunter?" Donovan asked as he walked in.

I didn't moved my hands, "Matt and Alfreda are now dating"

He grabbed a coke, "I thought you were good friends with Miss Johnson?"

"I am, it's not about her" I shook my head, "I just...I can't explain it."

"Hunter, do you..." He started to say. He sat down on the chair next to the couch.

"Um…" he bit his lip. He just stared at me for minute then asked, "Do you want go the coffee shop tonight?"

I sat up, "No I got a date tonight"

He stared down at his coke then back up at me, "with a girl?"

I raised my head. Why would he ask me that?

I nodded, "Yea…um I somehow got rope into it."

He put his hand up and paused. He opened his mouth like want to say something, or ask something.

He finally put his down, "Okay, you guys have fun" he quickly said as he walked to his bedroom.

© 2014 Esther Night

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Added on November 27, 2013
Last Updated on June 17, 2014

It wasn't me