The Truth: Part 1

Every gay and lesbian who has ever told their parents that they are homosexual have had moments like this. I just wanted to write down what my character, Joel Widow, went through.

            Standing outside my mother's bedroom door has never made me feel so sick inside. The combined emotions of fear and curiosity made my stomach feel like it was filled with vomit and a lead weight that has been making me stand outside for the past ten minutes. I was afraid. What would she say? Would she still accept me? Deep down I knew she loved me, but what would she say if her adopted son just told her he was gay? Scenarios raced through my mind, each side of the coin fighting against each other.
            "She would be fine with it. Just tell her how you feel. She'll respect you for it."
            "She's gonna throw you out, Joel. It's not worth it. She doesn't need to know."
            "But what if I have a boyfriend and I bring him home. She'll be bound to find out. I should just tell her now while I'm still thinking about it."
            "Exactly. You're just thinking about it. It might just be a fluke. Maybe you're not gay."
            "I am gay."
            "Then you're not thinking about it. You already know, and you know what the consequences are..."
            "What they might be."
            "Does it matter?"
            "Yes, it does."
            "Fine. Whatever. You retarded wolf. Go ruin your life. You know you only have one shot at this. If she doesn't like gays, it's all over for you."
            Another five minutes have passed. At least, I think it did. The watch I was wearing told me it had. I looked back at the wooden door, fear flooding me with uncertainty. What will happen? Maybe she is homophobic? I never hear her talking about them. It makes sense, but... she also never talks bad about them. I held my face in my paws, unsure of what to do. My mother always told me to tell the truth. She told me everything. I told her everything. Now I had to ask myself if it was worth it. Would hiding it from her be lying. I don't know anymore. It sounds like it is, but it also doesn't at the same time. She has never asked me. Does she care?
             I groaned as I pinched my forehead. "Just go in there and tell her. It will all be over in a few minutes. Then you can go back to getting your homework done." I nodded. I knew I had to tell her. I didn't really want to, but not telling her would be lying, and I can't lie to her.
             With the lead weight gone and frozen paws replacing my once lively ones, I opened the door.

Author's Note

A portion of a biography I'm starting to write for my character, Joel Widow. This is going to be two parts.

Reviews

[timmmmmmsardga]

I've read this twice now, and I just keep living that moment over in my mind. It is such a scary moment, and I genuinely am petrified for him, yet I am so intrigued to find out what happens next!

[timmmmmmsardga]

I thoroughly enjoyed it. My 'coming out' experience was under different circumstances, but the emotions are so spot-on and so raw. I could feel my heart racing alongside Joel's. Good work!