Without Doubt- A Shout Out

Where could a child live without
the fear and fright that comes with doubt?
He listens to his mother shout
and wonders why his father's out?

How can a child live without
a bed to sooth his nascent doubt;
a place to play, a place to shout,
to run and jump when friends are out?

Why should this child live without
good love and care; a home no doubt?
Burst in the door and loudly shout,
"Mom I'm home and I'm going out!"

When can a child live without
a parent who shall never doubt?
The child will cry he'll yell and shout.
"Please, oh please don't count me out."

You there reader, are you without
the fear and fright that comes with doubt?
Just look around stand up and shout
This child today I'll not count out!

Reviews

[Alessander]

you should get technical difficulty points for this poem lol it seems like a variation of a sestina, where the last words are set in different order in each stanza, but here they're even in the same order! well, it's a very commendable piece. My only anal-ity would be that without/out aren't truly rhymes, just like 'something' and 'anything' are not. Other than that uber-formal point, it's good.

[forrestcook]

You are right...I DO like that. I have a grandson who had to be placed in foster care (it's a LONG story) but because of the way the State of Arizona handled this, and the length of times it took to have my daughter's parental rights severed, he was damaged emotionally. My sister and her husband adopted him but he was eventually diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder. He was 1 year old when he was first placed in a foster home, 3 when adopted and now at 8 he is probably going to have to be put into a special school where he will be monitored 24/7. I am angry because he is the innocent victim of a system that failed.

[Seashell]

With your origional manner, you make this interesting. Yes it's true that we must listen to what our children are trying to say to us and guide them in return.

I liked this friend
Thanks

Babsie xx

[Natalie]

While I love the sentiment, I feel that it is a little too much rhyme for such a serious topic. I'm not trying to be offensive; I have actually have the same concerns about the poem I wrote for my daughter (The Echo of You). But this is my opinion and not everyone's.

[James Watts]

Every child is a gift. Although I hate to have to see any of our children growing up in this world we have left them, but I hope that some of them will make a difference and bring about a better world. Nice write.

[Christina May Shanaberg]

Children can teach us so much, if we are willing to listen. We must nurture them and love them, while providing some direction that they can make sense of. Unfortunately, in so many families, today, children are things that we buy toys to entertain, just wanting to keep them quiet. A quiet child is a sad person, with so much beauty hiding inside and crying to get out. I really loved this poem; it speaks to all parents!

[James Paulin]

This is a well composed poem that is full of structure in theme and logic. I like it except the meter is inconsistent. This poem needs meter, its too close to not have it.