Untitled - July 2, 2009

This poem was written for someone I once loved... previously written on July 2, 2009.

I've been down this path before

Though it's far from the one I'm typically on

This with floods of tears

Feelings of insecurity lurking

Tightness in my chest from polluted air

Yet I'm here again

Nevertheless.

I promised myself I wouldn't

Visit this place again

But I'm here and I can't find my way back

To the sunny spot I call home.

I was better off not knowing

All the wonders that creep this way

Though thrilling moments make me forget

All the darkness and despair

Is it really worth it?

Should I be here?

Just when I'm coming off my high

Those acid clouds roll in

Raindrops on my cheeks

And someone's lurking near.

When I'm home

All I can think about is being here with you

Though it feels impossible to reach you

And when I'm here, I just want to go home

But I'm lost, mapless and blind

In my land of Oz.

I want you mostly when I can't have you

I need you even when I really don't

I crave you like an addiction

And it's been way too long.

So I'm back, but where are you?

I can't find you in our place.

It would all be better

If I could take you home with me

But I know you can't go there

Even if I could find you now

You don't belong.

I know I can't be here any longer

I need to erase this place

From every map

This state of mind

And all who occupy it

And never come back.

But you hold the key

To take me home.