Remembering. To let you go.

healing myself through putting my fingers to keyboard

I remember your breasts, those globes so perfectly rounded.
You've not yet nourished a child with them, leaving them smooth
as marbles, pink tipped,
their size was such a comfort, pillows on which to lie, sweetly pretending
that you were mine.
Your honesty calls to me like a siren, misinterpreting your words purposely.
I want you. I want you to be mine.

When you came, you told me you were mine, at the peak of your pleasure
I made you tell me; my hands playing you like a favorite piano
its tune sucking me in like the undertow, hard, fast
unwilling to loosen its grip till your wave crashed... you relaxed, you laugh
and wonder how I've known this much about your body from the first time.
Maybe its because I'm just intuitive about the human body.
Maybe its because sometimes two people just align.
By chance? for a short time?....

Audre said, "tasting your ruff down to sweetness"
but with you its more like down to the salt of the earth
your non materialism refreshing
your pain calling for my healing
I am a nurturer.
but you won't let me. You don't take chances no more, you calculate,
meditate, organize, meticulate. 1+1 must equal two, not 8

All must be according to your plan
sadly, I understand.
I just want to be loved so badly, and why not you?
We fit together in beautiful ways, your touch sets me on fire,
your eyes tell me you need my love.
I must look away. I have had enough pain. I can withstand the
waves of sorrow at this depth, but if I wade in any deeper...
I cannot gaurantee that I will not drown.
I need to save myself, dry myself, let the sands of time absorb the moisture
of feeling, till I am dry. free from the Ocean of You.
As you watch my footprints head off down the beach,
I hope you understand.