The Girl Who Cried Wolf and Snowfall in the Heart

I accidentally deleted this before lol, but it is the same with some minor editing.

 

 

 

The Girl Who Cried Wolf

Hallie habitually fetched the key from behind the cobweb laden glass fire extinguisher that had probably been there for a century, and carefully unlocked the heavy wooden door. The door loudly screeched open as if it hadn’t been oiled in years. How could this old apartment building be so creepy and so amazing at the same time? Her felt peep-toe heels padded over the thick musty rug into the thin entryway. She could hardly see a thing in the dimly lit flat. She tucked a loose curl behind her ear and timidly took a few steps forward. “ Christian?”, she called out in an edgy voice. Where in gods name was he? The flat wasn’t exactly a place you could get lost in. Suddenly nervousness turned to impatience. She had driven two hours in the dark all the way from ever-warm L.A. to middle of nowhere, f*****g freezing, not even a shopping mall in sight Old Folsom and the person she did it all for couldn’t even give her a proper greeting? Had he simply forgotten that she was coming? Prick.

Feeling like an idiot standing in the entryway she promptly turned the corner looking for a place to set down her enormous weekend Balenciaga satchel. She certainly wasn’t going to place it on the dusty old floor. “ Christian are you here?” Hallie called out again her weight shifting to the opposite side she was holding her bag with.

She let out a frustrated sigh and started to dig in her bag for her cell phone. She could barely see a thing with the poor lighting. As she was searching for the phone and getting prepared to give an angry speech to Christian about how rude it was to make a lady wait, she heard a soft rumbling from behind her. Her shoulders instinctively tensed up as the noise grew louder. She barely glanced over her shoulders before she the saw most colossal, unfriendly looking creature with its teeth bared growing angrier at her presence by the second.

Hallies bright blue eyes grew wide with panic as she racked her brain on what the hell this thing was. Was it a dog? It was too dark to see but the outline of the figure was way too big to be any type of dog she ever saw. She could not get her mind past how huge this thing was and how it was going to probably eat her alive in five seconds.

Without thinking her shaky hand dropped the bag she was holding to the ground with a loud thud. Everything spilled out onto the ground. The beast didn’t like that and gave the deepest ear piercing bark she had ever heard. This was no dog…or maybe a dog on steroids.

Hallie tried to slow her breathing down because pretty much the only thing she knew about angry animals was that they could smell fear. She could make a bolt for the door but she had a feeling this thing would easily outrun her and attack her. Trying to calm down as much as she could she stood in place trying to stay as still and uninteresting as possible.

A flood of light suddenly traveled across the floor and across the entire room. “Christian”, Hallie breathed in relief. She could see his golden glow from the corner of her eye but couldn‘t turn away from her predator.

He took long swift strides towards her. “ I’m so sorry I’m late Hal I…what‘s the matter?” He asked seeing her frozen state. “ Help me” she squeaked her entire body trembling about to cry. “Oh man..” he said seeing what was going on. “Hallie just hold still, stay there baby.” Christian said knowingly.

“Balto! Balto you sit down.” Christian barked almost like a canine himself. Immediately the gigantic creatures body stiffened with the sound of his owners voice.

“ Balto?”, Hallie exclaimed in disbelief. Balto still had his teeth bared out at Hallie but the growling grew softer.

“ I said sit,” Christian said so harshly that it even sent a chill through Hallies spine.

The animal crouched its back and slowly slumped to the floor letting out no more than a whine. Hallie watched him take charge, amazed and slightly turned on. Suddenly Christians strong yet slender tattooed arms wrapped around the beasts massive neck and Christian playfully wrestled him so they were both on the ground.

Surprisingly instead of getting mauled, Christian received generous licks from the creature. Hallie would have thought it was cute if she hadn‘t nearly wet herself a minute ago.

“ Ok what on earth is that…thing?” Hallie said still shaken up. “ This is Balto.” Christian replied proudly as if talking about his own child. “He is ninety eight percent Eastern Timber wolf and weighs a good 140 pounds. He’s a wolf-dog I got him from this guy for free that breeds them around here. He is my best buddy in the world,” he said . Ok so it was pretty damn cute.

 

Christian raised himself off the wood floor and started to make his way to Hallie who was still in the same spot. Seeing how frightened she still was he gently placed both his hands on each side of her flushed face and protectively pulled her tiny body into his. Hallie nuzzled her face into his muscular chest and all the stiffness in her body diminished. She was home now.

“ I can’t believe that you are finally here”, Christian whispered in Hallies ear, her head still resting against chest. “ You know I’m not here long” she faintly replied. “Yeah” Christian muttered quickly removing himself from Hallie avoiding her eyes. He cleared his throat and began picking up the items from Hallie’s purse that had been scattered all over the floor when she dropped it.

Hallie grinded her teeth. “ So this…wolf-dog can be trained?”, Hallie asked trying get rid of a soon to be tense situation.

“Kind of. He knows who’s boss but deep down he’ll always be a wolf. He can never really be a trained dog, it’s just not in him.” Christian said. Hallie silently nodded still staying a good distance away from the wolf-dog.

The enormous Balto who was still sitting, wagged his long grey tail eagerly and grunted in Christian’s direction. Christian reached into the pocket of his jeans, unwrapped a piece of beef jerky and tossed it over to the animal who happily chewed it up. Christian took out another piece lead him into the bedroom and locked him inside for Hallie’s sake. He returned and they stood before each other in the middle of the dark room.

“So where were you anyway?” Hallie demanded placing her hands on her waist.

Christian ran his hand through his loose hanging golden hair out of his eyes. Looking down at the floor he replied, “ I….well I was downstairs trying to see if the landlord would give me a break this month.”

“ A break from what?” Hallie tilted her perfect head.

“ Well…I said that I would fix his car if he only makes me pay half the rent this month, then that way we can have some heat in here,” Christian explained.

“ Oh…Christian do you normally go without heat?” Hallie asked in disbelief since it was nearly 30 degrees outside.

“ It’s no big deal. It’s a good temperature for Balto. Plus I only use it when you come over.” Christian shrugged.

“ I haven’t been over in a few months….so you haven’t had it this whole time?” Hallie asked raising her eyebrows.

“ Yeah well…I can’t really afford it.” Christian said biting down on his lower lip in embarrassment.

Hallie’s heart sunk inside of her. She wanted to offer to pay his bills for him, get him a heater or something. It wouldn’t make a dent in the money she had, but she knew he’d refuse. He had too much pride.

“ I’m doing work on his whole car tomorrow so after that maybe I can turn on the heat,” Christian stated apologetically.

She looked out of the tiny old fashioned dormer window into the black night, spotted her little white car and suddenly had an idea. She headed out the door.

“Where are you going?” Christian asked finally looking up from the floor.

Hallie stood at the door frame and slyly gazed over her shoulder at him. “ Just stay there” she smiled and continued down the two flights of stairs to her car.

She ran out into the bone chilling air, fished through her trunk, found what she was looking for and ran back up the stairs.

Christian was looking out the window trying to find her figure in the dark. He heard her come back in but before he could turn around she had draped something soft around his broad shoulders. A huge blanket or quilt or something.

“ What is this where did you get this?” he asked frowning in curiosity. It looked and smelled so familiar.

“ Oh my gosh don’t tell me you forgot?” Hallie huffed still out of breath from running up the stairs. “ Take a good look.” she said pulling it off Christian and gracefully wrapping herself up in it like a dress. As she twirled around with it he remembered. It was the quilt that had been on Hallie’s bed since she was a little girl.

The quilt that they both slept under countless nights when they were kids. Christian would sneak through the window into her room so he wouldn’t have to be at his house where his uncle beat him even in his sleep. He never slept normal since those times. He always had trouble sleeping and was even deemed an insomniac at the age of ten. When he did sleep he would wake up from awful nightmares screaming, but whenever he was under that soft quilt with Hallie by his side in her little pink ballerina pajamas, he slept like a baby.

“ Wow I can’t believe you still have that thing”, Christian remarked as memories came flooding back.

“ Of course”, she smiled now putting the warm quilt around both of them. She wrapped it tighter and tighter till they were both tangled face to face.

The smell of her fruity Escada perfume immediately invaded his senses, but underneath he could smell her own indescribable scent that only belonged to her. Christians turquoise eyes thoughtfully stared in hers. He wondered to himself what the hell she saw in him that made her still love him after all these years.

“ See we don’t need a heater we just need this.” Hallie said, her eyes sparkling in the darkness.

“ Yeah but I want to be more for you. I know this place is a dump…I mean compared to what you are used to.” He said sounding absolutely humiliated as he looked around the barely lit flat. “I tried to make it nice for you….I got that rug” he gestured at the worn out lump on the floor. “ I got that table from the back of an alley, tried to fix it up but it still looks like s**t. I mean why are you here Hallie? This place is nothing…you are this…this princess. And I….I’m….”

“ You are everything.” Hallie gently covered his lips with her fingers. His eyes darted to the side and she ran the tips of her fingers over his full lips. “ Do you hear me Christian? You are everything” she softly said. He looked back at her trying to believe it. Still wrapped up in their quilt she closed her eyes and gave him the sweetest most genuine kiss he would ever receive in his life. He ran his hands through her soft curls and kissed her back with his eyes shut tight. He wanted to tell her how much she meant to him, but instead they continued to kiss because the things he felt could not possibly be put into words, and for the first time in months he finally felt warm again.

 

 

Sad Little Angel

It was difficult to tell what time it was from looking at the all grey sky outside. Last night had been incredible, even if there was no sex involved. They had kissed all night under their warm quilt and eventually fell asleep in each others arms. Never needing more than a few hours of sleep a night, Christian had been up since six in the morning doing various things around the dank apartment.

He had skipped his daily morning ritual of running four miles around the lake which he never skipped even if he was deathly ill. Instead he spent the morning trying to make his haunted looking home more suitable for Hallie by getting rid of all his put out cigarettes, washing the windows, sweeping, dusting, and all kinds of things that he would never normally do. He glanced over all eight hundred crappy square feet satisfied with his work. He had also fixed his landlords car and now had the heat roaring. He hoped to god that he would get the break on his rent or else he was screwed.

Earlier that morning Christian tied Balto up outside who was now loudly barking. On his way to the kitchen to fetch some raw meat for his pet, he stopped in his tracks to check on Hallie who was still fast asleep. She had her hands folded flat on top of each other tucked underneath her cheek like a princess from a Disney movie. He didn’t know anyone who slept like that.

Her white lace Betsey Johnson dress that she had been wearing since last night spilled across his beat up olive green sofa. She looked like a little girl playing dress up. He tried not to look at her but he couldn’t help himself and slowly crouched on the floor as if watching a fascinating film. Still underneath the quilt she brought from home she looked so serene.

“She couldn’t possibly be this relaxed around David,” he thought to himself.

He saw his cell phone flashing that he had 14 missed calls from last night. He had silenced his phone so Hallie could rest without any disturbances. Probably his friend Derek . He couldn’t care less. He could have stepped outside to return the call but instead he got up and made sure the quilt completely covered her body. Damn he knew he had it bad for her if he was turning down a drug deal. Hell she made him want to quit the business altogether. He kind of hated that and loved it at the same time.

Hallie began to stir in her sleep at the sound of Balto’s ferocious barking. Christian had got so lost in thought that he completely forgot about Balto’s food. “Damnit”, he whispered to himself hoping she wouldn’t wake up.

He went into the tiny kitchen and reached into the freezer for Balto’s raw steak. The damn dog ate better than he did. He proceeded downstairs and outside to where Balto was still making a racket.

“ Shut up man you are going to wake her up”, Christian hissed tossing the meat in front of the gigantic animal. As if he understood English, Balto immediately stopped barking and sunk his sharp teeth into his treat ripping it to shreds.

Standing in just his grease stained t-shirt and jeans in 30 degree weather he rubbed his numb hands together. He looked up at his second story curtain-less window to see if his girl was still asleep. And there she was looking right back at him in her white dress. Every time he looked at her he was overwhelmed. He was sorry she had woken up but he couldn’t help think what a beauty she was.

Looking up at her caused a particular memory to come back. Christmas 1992. He was eight years old, and it was the first Christmas he had without his parents since they were killed in June of that year. He was an only child and had been pretty much by himself for the remainder of the year. His alcoholic uncle regularly left Christian in the house alone for days at a time was gone now, probably off drinking. The little shack they lived in was the only one on the block without any Christmas lights or decorations at all. His uncle told Christian before he left that if he found out he stepped outside the house he’d bash his skull, which Christian had learned was not an exaggeration.

Christian had been living with his uncle six months now and was slowly learning to escape to a different place in his mind whenever he needed to, which was quite often. Back then he always used to imagine living in different parts of the world: Australia, Egypt, even Antarctica. The more he got beat the more detailed his fantasies would become. He sat down cross-legged on the beer stained carpet and thought about where he would be right now, for Christmas if he could be anywhere. Definitely somewhere with a fireplace, hot chocolate, and his best friend since diapers, Hallie.

Something snapped inside of him. He stood up, picked up his jacket and walked out of the house without even thinking twice about it. He kept walking, and walking. It was icy cold and the jacket he had on was too small for him but he didn’t care. He knew it would take a few hours with the five mile walk to Hallie’s mansion and his uncle, might drive by any minute on his way home from the bar but it didn’t matter. He had to see her.

Christian continued to shiver more and more but ignored it and continued his journey. He already had holes in his shoes and they were growing bigger with each step, but he didn’t worry about that. He eventually reached the beautifully decorated wealthy neighborhood in which Halllie’s mansion resided up a steep hill. He felt happier already.

His small bare neck was so chilled that he began to cough uncontrollably occasionally having to stop to take deep breaths. Before he knew it he was at his destination standing in front of the intimidating gate with a huge gold plated sign that said “Harris”. He naturally started hyperventilating to keep warm. He needed to get inside, that was all he could think about now.

He wriggled his little blonde head through the gate along with the rest of his body and made his way down the long pathway to the Harris’s front door. The coughing had become so painful that he tripped and fell on the way, but he got right back up and made it to the porch. His shivering hand pressed on the doorbell multiple times and he leaned against the brick house to keep from falling over.

Shortly the stained glass door opened and Hallie’s stupid fat twelve year old cousin Fredrick answered the door. Fredrick looked down at the trembling little boy in pure confusion. “Street rat?”, his fat freckled face asked sucking on a candy cane. Christian who was half his size pushed past him and made his way into the living room where the whole family was gathered putting away presents.

“ Where’s Hallie?” Christian asked barging in. His head bobbed up and down as if he was about to pass out.

“Jesus”, Hallies mother Rita uttered getting up off the sofa at the sight of the blue lipped little boy. Edward, Hallie’s father remained seated staring at Christian expressionless.

“ Oh sweetheart did you walk all the way over from your house?” Rita asked her hand covering her mouth in surprise.

“ Look Aunt Rita street rat is here,” Fredrick said waddling in the room.

Christian coughed hysterically and dizzily toppled over. Hallie’s mother quickly knelt down and caught him before he could hit the floor.

“Can everyone please make some room?” Rita asked the rest of the family while walking Christian over to the couch to lay down. Everyone got up looking concerned. The little boy lay on his back and started wheezing.

Disgusted, Edward who was the only one who hadn’t moved from his place stood up and looked down towering over him. His expressionless face formed into a menacing glare. Edward’s dark brown almost black eyes met Christian’s half open eyes.

“Why are you at my house?” Edwards deep voice demanded.

“ Edward…he‘s just a child!”, Rita cried out at her husband.

“ No Rita,” he said not taking his glare off Christian. Everyone in the room silently felt the tension. “ I want to know why he is here at eleven o clock at night interrupting our family Christmas.”

“….Hallie”, Christian breathily answered with his eyes now closed. “ I----just want to see Hallie.”

Edward pursed his thin lips and twisted his face closer to the boy’s. “ Hallie is upstairs asleep. I made it very clear at your parents funeral that you two are to stop being friends,” he said hatefully.

He retracted his head back as Christian began to cough in his face. “ No,” Christian whispered.

“No? Alright well I guess your Uncle Pete will decide what to do when hears about this.” Edward said matter-of-factly.

“ He’s not even home a*s wipe,” the eight year old hoarsely responded. He learned that word from Uncle Pete himself.

Fredrick softly chuckled in the background while everyone else gasped.

“ Well then maybe I should take care of you myself,” Edwards voice started rising.

“ That’s enough” Rita commanded placing her hand on her husbands shoulder. “ That is enough Edward come on. He is just an orphan, he came here because he doesn’t have anybody else.”

“ You hear that kid?” Hallies father was now hollering at the top of his lungs, “ You are an orphan, nobody in this world wants you. Nobody, and we don’t want you either. So you are going to stay far away from Hallie”

Christian could here something rustling upstairs. Still coughing he stood up from the sofa and realized how stupid this had been. He belonged in his Uncle’s empty house alone, he wasn’t worthy of seeing anyone.

“ Do you understand me you little s**t?” with full force Edward shoved Christian’s back forcing him to fall face first to the floor. Without turning around he impulsively crawled to the front door. Hallie’s father followed him, grabbed him up by his jacket and literally tossed him out onto the front porch like a bag full of garbage not caring who saw. Christian landed on his side, raised himself up and ran away. He heard the door slam behind him.

He finally reached the front gate and held on to one of the bars to catch his breath. Tears streamed down his cold face and he looked up at Hallie’s window which had the light on. He could see her standing in a white nightgown, with her light loose curls flowing down to her waist. She must have woken up from all the commotion. She looked down sadly at him. He thought she looked like an angel. He wondered if his mom was an angel, if she was celebrating Christmas wherever she was.

He wanted Hallie to come downstairs and tell him Merry Christmas and they could sneak off in a hot air balloon and go to Australia where it was summer. They could sing stupid songs the whole way and forget about everyone else. He saw her figure at the window disappear and before she could go to him and have her dad stop her before she made it out the door, he turned around and walked home.

Standing at his own house now looking up at her years later he felt the exact same way. He felt like he could never be on her level, she would always be above him and never fully be his.

“ She is still David’s” he repeated in his mind over and over.

She looked down on him with the same mournful expression that she had on Christmas night years ago. “ You sad little angel.” he said to her out loud even though he knew she couldn’t hear her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Not Afraid of Bruises]

An idea - try to limit the detail you have in one sentence. The first sentence feels like you just shoved all that detail in, and it's awkward to read. Also, instead of writing 'loudly screeched', keep in mind that readers do have their own imaginations. Writing 'loudly screeched' is like writing 'stood up'. 'Up' is implied, so is 'loudly'. You have a lot of words in here, and the story itself is great, but try to reduce the amount of words you use - say it simply and the point gets across, the pace moves faster, and suspense increases. A good write :) Thanks for sharing, and keep it up

[Wildecat]

This is an exceptional story. I Imagined those characters to be real. Superp writing.

[Hot-N-Cold_17]

I like the story that you wrote but the thing is that like the other reviewer said there is way to much detail in the story. Why don't you just let the reader let their imagination take them to a special place.

[Ariadne President]

Hello Evil Angel. Sorry that I have not read any stories of yours - I have SO many review requests so I hope that you forgive me. Now (ahem) onto the reivew....
This is a great story that you have written and mayeb even your best one that I have seen. I did not find any errors, well except this one right here:
"Hallies bright blue eyes grew wide with panic as she racked her brain on what the hell this thing was."
For one Hallies, should be Hallie's, but again we all have that problem with grammatical errors. Also to top it all off, this should be changed to that in your sentence above. Since the stoory is told in past tense, the word this is that.
Well that is all for now! If you have any stories for me, be sure to tell me about them, okay? I do have some stories of mine that is also want for you to read. They are Fate, Love, Lies, and also the preface of The Vampire Prince Charming.
Have fun with them and contact me as soon as possible.
Take care, friend

[yinseriv]

The characterization is good. I read through the grammar glitches because I was interested to see where you would take me. Obviously there is more story and depth here and I do hope you are working on it. There is commercial appeal to this sketch.

[Mintwhiskers]

THAT WAS WONDERFUL so wonderful

[Wolfwind Words]

You have a gift! I've never read something that brought these two characters of yours to life in such a dynamic way! Their love for eachother, the lives they have had to deal with over the years.
This world that you have created truly shined in this piece. It pulled my heart into both of the characters and gave me a new and stronger understanding of what true love is.

If everyone has one person that is their soul mate. Then these two fill that role for eachother.

Wonderful story!
Infinity's Shadow

[ShadowWolf]

A good story that needs to be continued.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

An interesting tale of friendship and the trials that any relationship can bring.

[Charisma Moonfairy]

Wow, that is very good. A good read and write, very interesting throughout.

[Nicole]

I can see promise. It needs a good bit of editing of course, but there's definately something there. I like the characters.

The details are great, but you might fare better starting up in the middle of action. Such as here: "Christian?", she called out in an edgy voice. Where in god's name was he? The flat wasn't exactly a place you could get lost in.

Try to keep flashbacks to one or two paragraphs. Few editors will let you get away with more than that because it slows the story if you have to look back very far to see what was actually happening before the flashback began.

Overall, a really good start.