Alone

Alone

A Poem by Einstein Noodle
"

do take the time to watch the dance video ..it is so cool...says i! ;)

"
 Peering
The pair pirouettes on
                                  the pier.
The lightning wasn't quite right
             
they
couldn't quite focus on point.
I am not sure what happened to them.
They just kept spinning 
on their own
in the mist.
                      Alone
10/15/2017
E

© 2017 Einstein Noodle


Author's Note

Einstein Noodle

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Reviews

I like how the last word adds more depth to the poem, makes us focus on their relationship...they seem so happy, pirouetting and dancing, but even when together, each of them can't help but feel lonely...

Posted 3 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

3 Years Ago

yep! it was a last thought to repeat the title in closing ... sometimes it works and sometimes not ... read more
it all blended well,enjoyed the read

Posted 3 Years Ago


 wordman

3 Years Ago

i did watch it
 wordman

2 Years Ago

well i did see it,and yes it is pretty cool my friend
Einstein Noodle

2 Years Ago

:) ...............
Wow, how can few words delicately paint moving pictures in the reader's mind? I love it. Keep up! :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

3 Years Ago

thanks Cookie! nice to meet you! '69 was a very good year ;) glad you enjoyed the dance ... i will s.. read more
CookieMisfit1969

3 Years Ago

You're always welcome around here :)
A lovely, flowing dance of a piece that uses such atmosphere to create an image in so few words. Sublimely done fellow says I!

Posted 3 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

3 Years Ago

ahahahaha thank you says i! glad you enjoyed the read ... your review gave me a fine chuckle for the.. read more
Forgot points! Now they’re in at 100! :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


Great alliteration, original form, lovely flow- lines dropping off like dancers dropping off the pier into the mist...hauntingly beautiful imagery of each dancer isolated- not making contact. “The lighting wasn’t quite right”- yes, relationship out of focus. Just..can’t..connect.. Great poem E.!

Posted 3 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

3 Years Ago

so glad you saw the scene and felt it ..most appreciated Annette! ... and thank you for the points ... read more
What a wonderful series of images you have conjured up for me....Perpetual motion, wrapped in mist, super. Thank you E N

Posted 3 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

3 Years Ago

thank you so much Neville ... so happy the conjuring worked for you ... i feel pretty gratified my f.. read more
Neville

3 Years Ago

My pleasure mate
Adulation, and i suppose, consolation. Not very good bedfellows. But life is like that. Every great dancer needs a lesser dancer to make them shine.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

3 Years Ago

thank you for taking time Paul! i had not thought of one of the dancers being lesser ... but certain.. read more
A sad poem, profound and deep. Indeed when the lightning isn't right, they'll just keep spinning in the mist on their own, alone. Its a lonely future, a charade for the two. Loved it!

Posted 3 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

3 Years Ago

exactly my friend...thank you so much for your read and review ... so happy the emptiness came throu.. read more

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Added on October 15, 2017
Last Updated on October 18, 2017

Author

Einstein Noodle
Einstein Noodle

Pork Rind, AK



About
"What arbitrary assignments! .. What arbitrary differentiations! What one-sided preferences, first for this, then for that property of a thing! ... with words it is never a question of truth, never a .. more..

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