Failure

Say Something

Without words

No breath can move a

life source to the brain

Its like falling into a grain 

bin:

a quick sand death 

choked with chaff and seed dust

I can't breath

I am at a loss                  lost

without words but

stay with me and

please don't go               please

Don't Go! 

E.

12/27/20

Author's Note

Reviews

[Pete]

without risking failure there would be no success. better to fail than never try. bridging a divide is not an easy thing. your structure, layout and words attempt to do just that. so close, so close. we feel lost until that last step is completed. 'please don't go' - indeed ... :)

[Einstein Noodle]

dang you touch my heart sir .. what a wonderful review to receive on this poem .. i don't know what to say sir .. but thank you ... for reading with sensitivity and taking time to review .. you made me day Pete!
E.

[TL Boehm]

I felt this deep plea even as I read it

[Einstein Noodle]

TL!!!! what a treat to see you back and walking the streets .. right here at the cafe' .. what a long time we have known each other .. how fast time goes by .. too many people left who i wish never would .. thank you for choosing to read this one .. yes! a plea indeed .. be well and stay safe .. we are almost there i think ... Covid will be tamed and placed into a yearly flu shot .. such great scientists and researchers there are in the world. love and peace :)
E.

[Chris Shaw]

A desperation here Mr E. A plea for help. Strong imagery comes through to this reader and your posted imagery shows a divide which is constantly growing. A relatable piece which I feel sure some readers will relate to.

Chris

[Einstein Noodle]

so happy to have your review always Christine! you review with understanding, empathy and encouragement ...i sure hope people can relate .. desperation not being something unique .. as creative writers we can be desperate for words can't we ;)))))))))) .... i am happy that the imagery stood out for you ... i find i am trying more and more to use it without being specific .. concrete if you will ... not sure about its value but something i have been drifting to for a while ... just one of our many tools eh!? ... peace and love Chris .. you make the Cafe' very fine to be here.
E.

[Chris Shaw]

Just dropping by Mr E, to say hello. Hoping so much that the angels are soothing your grief and keeping their watchful eye on you. Take good care of yourself. From across the pond sending a virtual hug.

Chris

[Einstein Noodle]

[DIVYA]

When words vanish, its usually signals an ending. How we take it is another matter. For some its a welcome new state of existence and for others its a desperate bid to hold on. The sinking feeling comes through in your words and I loved how reminiscent it was to quicksand, wildly clutching at straws and the frantic pleas to be rescued.

Hi dear E! I hope you're well and safe there and enjoying your day my friend. It was so good reading this poem today. ...

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks for reviewing Divya .. i like you new avatar .. you kind of cover both ends of the Mask issue .. your wearing it ... but your not ;) .... I am well thank you ... life is always good .. just sometimes better :) thanks for pointing out the quicksand thing .. its kind of pivotal in that certain desperation you speak of ... luv on ya girl!
E.

[DIVYA]

Loved your take on the avatar pic :))))
Thanks for all the love always, dear E :)

[lightsong]

Oh my! Oh my! Oh my!!! don't know what to say dear E! You know when You're touched in a special way and You can't "say anything"... at this moment that's me. into a deep profound level of humantic feelings and wisdom Your words sink... speak of/to human nature, relationships and love. You know sometime the person in front of You (loved ones who can feel You specially) feel choking when YOU are the one stuck with words, and when You release them You are not only freeing Yourself but also the person who was waiting to hear them from You... regrets for words we didn't say knowing how things might have changed can be devastating... still all happen for a reason. Your ending brought me to tears... I can't tell You how Your poem touched me in a deeply personal level today. I'm very grateful for You* genius poetry...1000000.... if I could 💕

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you so much lightsong! i am touched by your sensitivity and so gratified this drew you in and carried you in such a way ..i don't think any poet could ask for more from a reader .. your review has blessed me and reminds me how much we all share in our human experience .. tho at times we can feel so very alone and incapable of "words" ... thanks so much again .. peace and love to ya!
E.

[lightsong]

my words were driven sincerely from the impact of Yours upon me dear E. Peace and Love to You too always 💗💓💗

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime we hope words can help. Hello my friend. You could feel the emotion in the words. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks John ... i always appreciate your take on things ... yes .. words fail and we offer what we can in hope they help .. no doubt about it.
E.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree and you are welcome my friend.

[Helen]

I can see this scene vividly. I can see the grain bin and the chaff and the suffocation. I can feel the dust in my throat as I read it. I also see a man sitting on a chair, winded and dumbfounded by the news that his love is leaving, finding just in time the breath to plea for her to stay.

This may not be what is intended in the poem, but I wanted to write a review. I like the poem, it drew me in - I like the blank spaces as well as the words.

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you so much Helen ... for your heartfelt read of this ... deep felt loss of all kinds can leave us without words to say it .. i love your interpretation ... you are spot on .. peace and love!
E.

[Sami Khalil]

I felt the pleading, the plodding, the call of wordless fall. Gravity is pulling down in reality as the poet is pulling up from failure. It can be a failure of understanding, too.
Wishing you a marvelous New Year sir Einstein.

[Einstein Noodle]

back at ya Sami ... thank you very much! yes! there is no negotiating with gravity is there ... and we most certainly have to claw our way back sometimes .. all that sticky awkwardness and insecurities to crawl over, under and through! love your review sir .. thanks again for taking time
E.

[Sami Khalil]

Wow! You are welcome sir Einstein Noodle.
Happy New year...

[Robert Trakofler]

I think I do this to the muse sometimes... no I don't think, I do... do this, to the muse in my mind! Be it a memory of a lost love or a loving lost line of write in a composition of sublimity. One of my old mantras came spilling back at me after I read this... Please god, don't let me lose me again... Kind of like static electricity holding a balloon on my head this poem drew me into that thought pattern

[Einstein Noodle]

I feel pretty happy this touched you sir! yes! to the muse ... to our lost self and centers .. yes ... lost loved ones ... all that eh!? so glad you read and feel me in this Bad One! ;)
E.

[emmajoy]

Words play games with the mind ~ hide and seek is their favourite and we, their invisible owners forget that and briefly scan, sad and lost. But comes a time when someone sucH as you. casts a line and gently reels away from drifting shadows and finds meaning in places where sunlight glances. You do with what you've added above, you will with words still sleeping. A gentle nudge should do it.. soon

Take care of you., please, sir, Brief jhug, gentle prayer and gentle be thy whisper.

[Einstein Noodle]

yes they do don't they Em! hide and seek .. i love how you think of it ... its what we do ... search those words out and put them just so ... creative writing is such a gas! ;) and thank you for your sensitivity and well wishes .. and those gentle prayers .. i deeply appreciate them!
E.

[emmajoy]

Friends are what they are, E. :)

[Einstein Noodle]

yes indeed!

[Stella Armour]

Just the knowing that someone is there will stop you from drowning; small breaths, small steps try to be kind to yourself :)

[Einstein Noodle]

i like that! small steps .. one after the other :) and yes! how very important to be kind to ourselves .. when words fail us