Grace ?

Grace ?

A Poem by Einstein Noodle
"

a hymn form poem

"
Image result for dead love
compliments of pinterest 

Grace ?

the tree was hung in winter ice
the day his head bent low
his heart would fail and pay a price
for love, from her, bestowed

upon a newly wedded lock
he used a damaged key
inside a place so deep it mocked
the warmth of spring's decree

she tried in vain to reach his mind
of oaken wood so dense
her own fair ferns curled up at night
to hide in heart's defense

she couldn't bridge the walls of steel
and roots so thickly held
in earth and rock and misery
bequeathed through lines of elde

she found his heart with soul and quil
she dipped in barb'd wire tears
and pierced his skull with grit and drill
revealing all she feared.
E.
02/15/2021

© 2021 Einstein Noodle


Author's Note

Einstein Noodle
https://youtu.be/3maGHyt_xOU
Emily Dickenson used the hymn form to "rebel" against a starchy society .. said to be one of those poets who were at the vanguard of Modernism. I think her "rebellion" was subtle as she used slight alterations in rhythm and stretched rhyme here and there. Hymn poetry were meant to be sung in Church and so she used theme to make her statements as well. I read that the form should be able to be sung to any worship tune you please. Like "Amazing Grace" for instance. I hope you like my little hymn form tale
E.

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Featured Review

“she found his heart with soul and quil
she dipped in barb'd wire tears
and pierced his skull with grit and drill
revealing all she feared.”
E., This poem is a smashing goth hymn in form and flavor. A true ‘kiss from a rose on the gray’-or on the grail more symbolically. Love, birth, death-yes. Dark and somber verses, beautifully laid. Such skillful meter and rhyme. Dickinson would be so proud of your homage. Kudos!

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

ohhhhhhhh joy to my heart young lady .. what a wonderful review you give this one. i have had it in .. read more



Reviews

Well written poem and interesting note at the end. Thank you for the education and the entertainment I enjoyed them both.

"upon a newly wedded lock
he used a damaged key
inside a place so deep it mocked
the warmth of spring's decree," fave stanza. Tyfs



Posted 2 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

thanks man! i appreciate you pointing that particular verse out .. its kind of pivotal in the story .. read more
You did such a wonderful job of the hymn form here, dear E!
The poem sings and how...
I often wish to pierce skulls and reveal the muck inside.
Crack that oaken wood. Let out the inevitable worms festering within.
Such lovely and relatable poetry, my friend!

Posted 2 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

yep .. keep crackin' Ms. Kat :) its not a healthy thing to be all sealed up ... i love your descript.. read more
Dhara_Ditzy Kat

2 Months Ago

You are so welcome E. I love talking to you. My dear friend.
I could sing it:) I can't remember the original melody I heard it in but the lyrics worked nicely:) I think that tree may be as thick as the bunny's skull LOL I think Emily would be proud of your scrawl Mr Einstein!

Posted 2 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

We men are all thick and knotted to one degree or another .. i am convinced it is in the Man genes ... read more
Quite perplexing in the focus of barriers formed and protected by someone. Good to see you’ve somewhat grasped penning the ubiquity of this to words.

Especially the comparative in softness to that of the sharp and bleak. Please have a read of some of my work to see how I have communicated this same, differently. Well written :)

Posted 2 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

well thanks Dreambound! so nice to meet you! I will most certainly stop by your lanes and avenues as.. read more
I have not studied Emily in depth Mr E, but I truly love the work of hers I have read. This is beautifully penned, you have done yourself proud here. You know I have met men like him before, stubborn to the core. Takes a special woman to keep chiseling away in the hope of finding that buried treasure. A wonderful pen in rhyme and meter. I am going to give you a littke curtsey of approval of the highest order. Sending you all good wishes across the waves.

Chris

Posted 2 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

Oh M'Lady .. i bow low in response .. thanks so much for reviewing ..i think it a sure bet that most.. read more
Christine Anne Shaw

2 Months Ago

Meow, meow :))
Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

Although this has a distinct meter, it also has a sense ofloud and forceful metronomic control. Perhaps the She is showing her power, whilst the he stands rooted in defiant silence, whatever his reason. The route of this part hymn/part goth poem is very clever, its both warlike and misplaced passion.Perhaps. , perhaps. Extraordinarily different, both Emily and decisive You.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

yes! very different for me on both of your "takes" .. she must be brave eh!? and he stubborn no doub.. read more
oh my , emily dickinson would love this...
it is a reflection of theme and form of how she wrote.
"pierced his skull with grit and drill"
my that is good....
I have been where the object of this poem is...so locked up, so hidden away protecting heart.
j.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

i hope that she is happy with my attempt .. we both, i think, have her at the tops of our lists of t.. read more
I bought her collected works, mainly due to it being as complete as can be in one volume and read similar in the preface (which went on way too long), but did find it planted the seed to try and I do believe you can sing them, depending on singing talent, which is why I said you instead of me. (I'd have hyperventilate halfway through if I were talking and not typing, but back to the review)...
I do agree that her rebellion was subtle as you say, picturing her putting her hand to her mouth and quietly smiling, but subtle worked so well for her, especially in her shortest pieces, making you pause and ponder, whereas most writers think they best stick in 60 pages of drama to make the same point, more in the hope the special effects scenes would look awesome if Hollywood ever picks it up and less about hinting for the reader to discover their own picture.
... And I haven't even mentioned your words yet! Bloomin' cheek and what a slabbercabbage (talks too much)
Your last verse truly does capture our Emily D and her subtle way of thinking, including the foibles of her own mind in refusing to let a man see her handwriting and smuggling them to correspondents in bread baskets she lowered from her window.
You know your stuff sir and get an A+ from me. Congratulations Gene, you've made it through to the next round 😊

Posted 2 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

Damn Lorry!!!! i am tempted to slabbercabbage, me self, over your thoughts and comments .. minimal.. read more
as You already know dear E I am not the one who knows so much about poetry forms, but I do know yours here flew smoothly, effortlessly, Your expressions are amazing, for me it was like his love was embodied in the tree where he ended his heart/life, the branches reaching into his deep soul as if it's his lover's arm. something different from You, but You did a very great job.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

yes .. different .. i do strict forms to keep one foot on the ground and to inspire me when i am not.. read more
Not sure if she was cold hearted or he was thick headed. My sense is that he came out on the short end of things. That's the price of an oaken wood mind.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

the price indeed ... we men can be pretty dense sometimes .. takes a hammer and chisel to get throug.. read more

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Added on February 15, 2021
Last Updated on February 23, 2021

Author

Einstein Noodle
Einstein Noodle

Pork Rind, AK



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My dog Beauregard told me if I didn't like the responsibilities that come with opposable thumbs, he could easily get a gorilla to do the job for bananas........ I said: "Do I have to hand in my monkey.. more..

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