Exhale

an old poem ..Exhale is used many times over the years for many titles of all kinds of things .. i think it retains its allure and power, however ... just my opinion

image "Tales by Myrieen" on deviantart.com

Exhale

My craving wailed;     

(banshee on the wind)

     gripping 

             petals,

     misting

             reason.

Whispers trace kisses,

                         fragmenting my thoughts.

Untamed--

          love lured me

     crimson,

          and purple.

                                        exhale.....................

                                                              ........................

                                                                              ................................................................................

E.

© 2013 Einstein Noodle

Author's Note

I read Seriana's poem "Exhale" https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/drushin703/2767099/#comment-4469383
and thought it would be fun to re-post mine .. they are so different in theme .. hope you like it .. let me know what you think Seriana! :)

Reviews

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

"Whispers trace kisses,
fragmenting my thoughts.
Untamed--
love lured me"...

And then..Wait for it....aaah, "exhale..................
Just so breathtaking (literally!) and sensual E. My heart added extra beats while reading. This is love as it should always be - teetering, suspended in the passion and heat of the moment before...just like your supremely expessive lines and perfect pauses...
Loved this hugely and thank you for pointing me to Seriana's poem as well my friend!

[Einstein Noodle]

you have made my day Annette! gave me a good feeling inside with your review .. yes .. we can get knocked for a loop and loose .. or we just may win ... all it takes is that "One" eh!? thank you so much!
E.

[Ladysue]

Love the use of colors in here. Your brevity, spot on word choices and and form strikes a chord. I could feel this. it’s wonderful and haunting all at the same time. Brilliantly conveyed..

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks so much Lady Sue! for taking time and your very encouraging review. Your moniker and avatar make me want to rock n roll! ;)))))))
E.

[Ken Simm.]

Such imagery here Gene. And exhale indeed. I see this as letting things go and it is all the stronger for it.

[Einstein Noodle]

I am so happy you found this one to read and review, Ken ... thank you ... glad you enjoyed it .. it's one of my personally more fulfilling to have written .. don't know why .. just is i guess .. peace brother .. love and assurance
E.

[L.E.Osborne]

I love the haunting nature of this poem! For some reason, it reminds me of Angela Carter's The Bloody Chamber, like it could be pulled straight from that book, so, so good! x

[Einstein Noodle]

Thanks L! i will have to check that out! have not heard of her .. and so nice to have your visit .. and getting to know you ... right here at the Cafe' :) so happy you enjoyed reading

[Summer Emswiler]

I love the formatting of this poem, the way it forces you to read it with certain pauses. The "gripping petals" line is such a strong line, so much emotion from the word gripping contrasted with the softness of flower petals, the poem is just beautiful.

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you so much for your encouraging review .. i am feeling very gratified that it spoke to you in such a way ... glad you found this one :)
E.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Wow! The imagery in this, the beautiful word usage... it creates and puts together such a gorgeous and amazing piece. There’s something about this poem that all ties it together perfectly, it just fits. Crimson and purple, the banshee, everything. As I was reading, you created imagery so strong in my head, I had to go back to check if the poem was written differently, but no. You didn’t need overly tenuous details and long exaggerated descriptions, you just wrote what you felt and made us all see it. The exhale is so refreshing too, almost as if the poem is reminding you to breathe, which is like the cherry on top to the sundae of this amazing poem. Such a smooth and well flowing piece, I could go on and on, but then this review would be very, very long! So I’ll finish with, yes, exhale does still retain its allure and power, and it’ll only grow stronger!

[Einstein Noodle]

oh my Colacat! thank you so much for your kind and generous review ... couldn't be more happy to receive such a reaction .. i really appreciate it my new friend! ;)
E.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

It was my pleasure! :)

[Sami Khalil]

Many things can lure us for good or bad . I guess magnetism is so powerful and built in our genes; the positive and the negative, the 2 polar opposites. Yours is explained in beautiful, romantic terms. Long live Gene and the genes of love...

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahaha .. and a long and prosperous life to you good friend .. thanks for reading and commenting always .. your reviews are important to me .. peace brother! peace and love!
E.

[Sami Khalil]

Peace, love and harmony. Be blessed. You are welcome Einstein ...

[Ghost/Gray]

Untamed- love lured me. OHH i liked this!! Beautifully written Einstein Noodle.

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks Mads! I appreciate your visit. So nice to meet a new person .. right here at the Cafe' .. peace and joy my new friend!
E.

[John the Baptist]

Indeed, craving will raise a racket in its attempts to be satisfied. And yes, reason does often go out the window in the face of such. If this particular craving is what it appears to be, it confirms what I have always suspected: Both figuratively and literally, women have got us by the balls.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha you read this one loud and clear my friend..and i agree...they surely do ..but we love it just the same eh!? thanks for stopping and letting me know your thoughts John!
E.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Very descriptive write and poetically penned, Einstein Noodle. "Whispers trace kisses " is a lovely line.

[Einstein Noodle]

i confess my friend .. that line you mention is an important one for me .. thanks for the visits always .. peace and love
E.