Touch

Touch

ebony hair ablaze with shine

in the daylight

a waterfall cascade of starbright

this   patterned index started with

ridges as the Saw toothed Mountains 

that nick smokey clouded heights and

sweeps misted valleys

hollow walls make spaces for souls and 

demons just as easily

our luggage packed haphazard

 ...... willy nilly in 

frenzied, chaotic dancing wisps

stuffed between soft, brown, leather lids

zippered shut

 

private intricacies squeezed between lips 

clicked shutter tight

 .............. pictures that captured and

freyed sayings much over done

the weight loads one shoulder 

then; another beyond balance 

winding about the neck

like cobwebs

                                       hanging            and             dangling

          at odd angles 

touching

E.

02/14/2022

Author's Note

Reviews

[Mike Keenan]

Not sure about the need for first three stanzas, but I do like saw toothed mountains so yes, a ponderous picture of heavy issues sealed in Pandora's boxes. I like the rhythm, form and the way that you typically go for broke as in the golfer's lament - never up; never in!

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks so much for your honesty my new found friend .. not a golfer so haven't heard to phrase ... but i like it ... more brings to mind my present love life tho :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) not to be concerned for me tho .. i am old and past all that nonsense ...not! ;) ... sorry the V1-3 failed to touch you .... but i love your review!
E.

[Chris Shaw]

Visually interesting Mr E. You give the reader much to think about and even more to touch on the emotions. You took me on a journey. I find mountains incredibly moving emotionally and the climbers that ascend their heights, I have an affinity with. Not that I could do it myself, but because I understand why they do it. There is a great love here for the natural environment. I have had a break, as my mum died recently. It is good to return and to find some treasure from you. Sending you greetings from across the pond.

Chris

[Einstein Noodle]

oh dear Chris ... i am so sorry for your loss .. this news hit me like a hammer .. i pray you consolation and comfort .. you and all those who surrounded your Ma ... i am so sorry :(((( i feel deeply honored you stopped to read hon ... and for your sensitivity always .. but i am overwhelmed with you news .. so so sorry darlin' ... big hugs
E.

[Chris Shaw]

You are such a sweetheart. My mum had suffered for a long time. I have been grieving the loss of her for six years or so. She was never the same after a cancer operation. It reduced her to a shell of herself. She is a free spirit now and in a way I am too. Thank you so much for your condolences. Look after your very good self my friend. You are a gem.

[Einstein Noodle]

back at you Chris!

[Relic]

The video is great. (and a tad scary too).

This poem seems to me to be verses that are put together like snapshots. Things that stand out, the hair, the mountains, the rushing with luggage, are like clicks printed on memory, slated for filing in this chapter of life.

hollow walls make spaces for souls and
demons just as easily

Because we are poets, we have permission to interpret things however we want.
Walls aren't just used to devide rooms, they're also meant to deny some realities. Between the video and this poem, I can see someone who is between denial and dismissal. Almost as though an assassin who was sent to do dirty work. OR, someone who wanted to reverse the dirty work.

On the other hand. Could it simply be someone who is hepelessly tied to another through love but finds it hard to manage his feelings.

As in what could be a metaphor in the following lines:

the weight loads one shoulder
then; another beyond balance
winding about the neck
like cobwebs

So there you see, I've turned a simple image poem into something complex and twisted. haha

In any case, this is a really interesting write that can make one think and think some more.

Good one. :)

[Einstein Noodle]

yes! the video lighting and settings lend to a bit of a scary engagement for sure .. really appreciate that you took a listen to it my friend .. and let it "touch' you ;))))))))) and this poem .. i can not feel more blessed that you took time to think about it .. and you are spot on, of course, the reader has all the power in their own hands as to how, why and what effect is felt and thought .. great review Relic ... totally thankful for your read .. blessings on you :) of peace and joy!
E.

[An owl on the moon]

What a beautifully visual and moving work... can feel the motion... sense the sounds and emotion of these moments. So alive!

[Einstein Noodle]

Mr. Owl!!!!!!!!! how happy i am you strolled into this one .. so gratified by your response .. luv ya brother! and love and peace be with you .. right here at the Cafe' ;)))))))
E.

[Soren]

A wonderful waterfall of images in vivid display and many that seem to be metaphors or can be taken literally as well. Beautiful, this is one of my favorite of your poems.

[Einstein Noodle]

Soren! thank you so much for taking time to read and let me know your thoughts ... i appreciate your encouraging comments .. big time .. and that this one particularly struck home for you .. not everyone enjoys that abstract and free verse .. it is my "comfort zone" and when someone can appreciate it .. all the more gratifying .. thanks Soren .. see you 'round the Cafe' eh!? :))))))
E.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Beautiful scenery of the great mountains! Perfect, perfect imagery! Well penned! I also loved the style of the poem!

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you so much 101 .. i am humbled and grateful you found something in this .. truly .. thank you!
E.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

My pleasure!

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

My pleasure!

[Patricia]

This is terrific, loving the imagery and the mountains I have visited many times and they are spectacular but have never hiked them…yet. This makes me want to get out there and do it. Nothing like the traveling and hiking. You painted the scenery beautifully and captured the feeling with enthusiasm

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks Ms. Patricia! oh the mountains do put a call on us don't they ... for some it's the oceans but for me and you .. it's the streams and brooks and hidden lakes of the mountains eh!?
E.

[Patricia]

Yes it is and matters not what mountains I love them all! Eagle River in Colorado clear as can be, snow top Tetons, dry Escalada’s and Rockies, Devil’s Tower all of them in Montana and Wyoming my gosh they call!

[Neville]

a most perfect love poem & true ............................ N

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you! ..... yep .. love poem. :)))

[Neville]

Wow my man, I imagine this must have been long in the making .. Each word building upon its predecessor and perfectly so to take the reader on a sublime & curiously sensual journey through the poet & authors pen, eyes and personal history ..

I rarely read what others have scribed before me in their own review notes, but on this occasion, I felt compelled to do so .. and my word, I can honestly say, that between them all & I imagine there will eventually be many more .. they appear to have just about said most of what I would have liked to have said myself .. so I wont bore ya and repeat them tweaked, but rest assured my friend, I may not have been where you took me today in the physical sense, but the journey came very close sir .. A most engaging & beautiful poetic experience if ever there was ...................... AGT's to you n ya pen :)))))

Your pall,

N.

[Einstein Noodle]

you've blessed my morning Nev .. thanks so much for taking time and i am truly gratified this invited you to a journey .. thank you and thank you again for such encouragement .. and you are right .. it was very long in writing to be sure ... top o' the mahrnin' to ya lad
E.

[Neville]

always such a pleasure my friend & back at ya sor :)
N.

[Ken Simm.]

So many places you have touched here Gene. So many lines that shout their excellence to me.

[Einstein Noodle]

Ken!!! what a treat you see things in this one .. God bless you for your kindness in reading and reviewing .. you know ... we are kind of the "old ones" around here ... more others than me .. but ... i am in there somewhere ;) .. love on ya brother .. wishing you the best my friend and thank you for taking time
E.

[Zoe Richardson]

I see my beloved Smokey Mountains here. Fog draped valleys. Hills and hollers where ghosts and outlaws and inlaws alike hide and make mischief. A closed off world, suspicious of outsiders and keeping their secrets locked tight behind "lips clicked shutter tight..." It's surprising what images pop into each reader's mind. This poem could be about mountains. Or burdens. Or secrets. Or all of it, neatly tied together with your selected words. I enjoyed each possibility!

[Einstein Noodle]

what a great review Zoe!! yes .. all of it for sure .. wonderful insightful read from you .. thank you so much .. abstract is not everyone's cup of tea .. it is my "voice" and when others feel and see things in it .. i am ... well .... complete .. at least for the moment anyway ;))))))))))))) thanks so much Zoe ... for the best review i could hope for!
E.

[Zoe Richardson]

You are most welcome!