“Sadness came slowly like
the turning of leaves in Fall breezes
the colors
impregnable with the mind
only hearts
discern “
Exquisite E., and so moving. Flow, words ‘al punto’, Imagery, colors, pathos, simile - all perfect. I could not help but follow this spiritual journey from alpha to inevitable omega. All of the colred bursts of love are what define and elevate us. Kudos my supremely sensitive friend…
Posted 1 Month Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Month Ago
thank you for such a sensitive reading and encouraging review ... makes me look to keep writing ... .. read morethank you for such a sensitive reading and encouraging review ... makes me look to keep writing ... big thank you ma'am!
as always,
E.
The first part of this offering is full of vegetation imagery and also the mention of the changing colors of fall. Since these natural things are mentioned in coordination with sadness and change, we must assume loss is the main meaning here. The last stanza speaks in a restrained way about a love that is no more but lives on in the mind. Old wounds may have healed but their scars yet remain.
Posted 2 Weeks Ago
2 Weeks Ago
thank you for reading and reviewing with such specificity! it is much appreciated .. "cut and split .. read morethank you for reading and reviewing with such specificity! it is much appreciated .. "cut and split for fuel" is the turn ... yes .. many losses in life aren't there ... preserved, hidden from view but they do remain ... you have taken a very universal look at this one ... thanks again so very much
E.
You really did bring "sadness" to the the reader, using colors of an artist to enhance mood; the sadness of those magnificent tress cut down for fire wood, now much of the earth that was is asphalt, dark, hard, tough...there is a certain slow flow to this poem which and sad, which makes it so real, and sad at the same time.
Best, B
Posted 4 Weeks Ago
3 Weeks Ago
Betty ... your review honors and humbles me .. i am truly grateful .. you dove in and feel it .. wh.. read moreBetty ... your review honors and humbles me .. i am truly grateful .. you dove in and feel it .. what more can one ask ... expecting little .. thank you for blessing me with your time ..
Well...I found my way here and can now comment on your art in this more appropriate site in lieu of FB. I do really like this, Gene! The imagery puts me in the woods in the Fall. The black macadam/asphalt....Black...an ending... Very impactful! Nice work!
Posted 1 Month Ago
1 Month Ago
thanks Kathi ... such a treat you are here at the Cafe' .. i hope you find it an expansive experienc.. read morethanks Kathi ... such a treat you are here at the Cafe' .. i hope you find it an expansive experience .. maybe it will release your own creative writing juices eh!? i personally believe we all have them ...thank you for your kind words .. it's encouraging
E.
Poignant, candid, and aching, breaking heart choking in its own sullen sadness, bereft of love and now crestfallen ..
' I went after it once
down new avenues - lain
in hot macadam
I looked away
I'm not sure what you did
as I watched
black asphalt poured over
old bones and memories '
And a magical, atmospheric soundtrack to accompany the solemn mood
Posted 1 Month Ago
1 Month Ago
what a fine morning it is Tom .. to have your visit and review .. so happy this touched you in such .. read morewhat a fine morning it is Tom .. to have your visit and review .. so happy this touched you in such a way .. when our intent is felt by others' in reading .. who can ask for more .. thanks so much .. good to see you here on my lanes :))))))))))
E.
1 Month Ago
ps. and glad you listened to the music ... she is an all time favorite of mine .. top o' the mahrnin.. read moreps. and glad you listened to the music ... she is an all time favorite of mine .. top o' the mahrnin' to ya lad!
How sad and forlorn this piece seems, producing a feeling of things lost, never to be regained. The title drew me in as it reminded me of the Uncle Remus story. I wasn't familiar with the song. Natural beauty buried in asphalt is a saddening prospect. I'd rather bury my worries and troubles in the sand with a fruity umbrella drink in one hand and a beach umbrella over my head. I make my own "mixed drink" with crushed ice, a shot of cranberry juice, a half can of sparkling cherry flavored water and the remainder with blackberry ginger ale; fizzy, fruity, cold and refreshing without much too much sugar. I can add a fat strawberry and a straw to the top and share it with my first grader. Trees are among my favorite things in all of nature. I feed the birds and squirrels every day. I love to watch them out my window so happy and full of antics. I like the metaphor expressed in this piece. It produces a lovely ache of yearning for things lost. Well written, F.
Posted 1 Month Ago
1 Month Ago
thanks Fabian! your drink makes me thirsty .. almost greedy for the fruity carbonation .. who needs .. read morethanks Fabian! your drink makes me thirsty .. almost greedy for the fruity carbonation .. who needs liquor with such an array of fruits and the scene to sip it in! thank you for the visit and review sir!
E.
a very enjoyable read and you have introduced me to a singer I'd not heard before
Thankyou for the read and the singer
Posted 1 Month Ago
1 Month Ago
Dave! so happy always to have your visits .. Sade is incredible in my opinion .. i listen to her son.. read moreDave! so happy always to have your visits .. Sade is incredible in my opinion .. i listen to her songs on repeat all the time .. she is French you know ;) glad you enjoyed reading .. i appreciate your time ... peace and joy my friend!
E.
I am listening to the song and I am reading your words. A heart overtook by the black tar. Won't need anything no-more. Very nice dance of words my friend. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry. I did like this one.
Coyote
Posted 1 Month Ago
1 Month Ago
thank you Coyote Man! Sade is one of my favorites .. glad you enjoyed .. yes! the heart can be cover.. read morethank you Coyote Man! Sade is one of my favorites .. glad you enjoyed .. yes! the heart can be covered over with many things can't it!? peace and love brother!
E.
1 Month Ago
I did my friend. I have loved Sade for many moons. You are welcome my friend.
Textures and colors popping line to line. Smells pulling the reader by its nose. Grinning ear to ear to reading this.
Posted 1 Month Ago
1 Month Ago
i couldn't ask for more my friend! thanks so much for taking time ... great review much appreciated!.. read morei couldn't ask for more my friend! thanks so much for taking time ... great review much appreciated! thanks duff!
E.
“Sadness came slowly like
the turning of leaves in Fall breezes
the colors
impregnable with the mind
only hearts
discern “
Exquisite E., and so moving. Flow, words ‘al punto’, Imagery, colors, pathos, simile - all perfect. I could not help but follow this spiritual journey from alpha to inevitable omega. All of the colred bursts of love are what define and elevate us. Kudos my supremely sensitive friend…
Posted 1 Month Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Month Ago
thank you for such a sensitive reading and encouraging review ... makes me look to keep writing ... .. read morethank you for such a sensitive reading and encouraging review ... makes me look to keep writing ... big thank you ma'am!
as always,
E.
you do realize Tar Baby is a derogatory term for African Americans, perhaps not.
its origin is from the Uncle Remus Stories that was adapted by Walt Disney as Song of the South.
it has been banned word wide since turn of the century.
ya might want to consider renaming it just sayin
Posted 1 Month Ago
1 Month Ago
if someone's head is there ... it is a problem they have .. not i sir! ... love, peace and flowers m.. read moreif someone's head is there ... it is a problem they have .. not i sir! ... love, peace and flowers my friend ... i hope you read again and get past the title ... ;)
E.
1 Month Ago
i have read this piece several times and each time i find another well said point
you do have.. read morei have read this piece several times and each time i find another well said point
you do have a way with words in thought
i have read this piece several times and with each i find another pairing of word and thought that do nothing but assist in the broad-brush painting of words
but that does not excuse your use of tar baby as title
i would think you would beyond that but as you said there is no problem on your end
it doesn't take much to bring out the worst of us does it?
no peace no love no fukin flowers
have a good day
1 Month Ago
so ... did you give a listen to Sade's song? i think rather than censorship .. applying new and invi.. read moreso ... did you give a listen to Sade's song? i think rather than censorship .. applying new and invigorating meanings to words and phrases is the more concrete road ... i do not subscribe to the extent that PC ideology has gone .. banning books of childhood fantasy .. actually outlawing specific words and phrases .. this poem and the title go hand in hand and have less than zero to do with racism .. sorry you feel so angry .. hope that you will heal ... peace love and flowers are so so much more applicable .. with respect and hope that you are not saying goodbye :)
E.
ps. thank you for reading and for your kind review of the poem ..
1 Month Ago
i am not a maga man so i will not be banning books or joining any cross burnings but i grow lots and.. read morei am not a maga man so i will not be banning books or joining any cross burnings but i grow lots and lots of flowers
i'm not angry concerned yes angry no
amos and andy was taken off the air because of connotation negroes being lazy
i saw song of the south as a child and remember it well still know the melody and words to
zip-a-dee-do-dah and sing it somedays
i understand your point but some things are best unsaid even with newer definition no matter who uses it
certainly don't need to start using ni**er just because it can be a popular wordage
that's not censorship but respect
1 Month Ago
sorry .. i am not much up on maga .. have heard it mentioned a time or two in the news; but haven't .. read moresorry .. i am not much up on maga .. have heard it mentioned a time or two in the news; but haven't looked it up yet .. what does it stand for? glad you are not angry ... i appreciate your input .. i think the strength of the presentation is strong enough to qualm any sensitivities ... with present exception taken .. i grew up with all those programs and never equated it with any race. my home was a loving environment economically in the low middle working class .. do you know who Lenny Bruce was? and what his "statement" on stage was; and how he approached the subject?
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
1 Month Ago
you do what ya want
i ain't no rube
i know all about the 1st amendment and lenny bruce.. read moreyou do what ya want
i ain't no rube
i know all about the 1st amendment and lenny bruce and richard pryor, dick gregory, malcom x , george carlin steve martin
it's evident you have no idea what i stand and fight for
my profile, my poems are evidence
this does not need to go any further
have a good day mr einstein noodle
but ... you haven't shared your thoughts and feelings on Sade's song, "Tar Baby" .. you are right .... read morebut ... you haven't shared your thoughts and feelings on Sade's song, "Tar Baby" .. you are right .. i haven't read nearly enough of your poetry to know much about you ... i will try to do that. .. peace and love, keith!
1 Month Ago
i like the intro, lounge jazz, but then it changes into another run of the mill background music, re.. read morei like the intro, lounge jazz, but then it changes into another run of the mill background music, regular
yes there is reference to tar baby ... a child born of addiction to heroin ... tar, black tar
but thats not how i see your poem
i'm not really sure of the focal point of this piece
1 Month Ago
oh! ... well .. i can't help you there can i? .. it wouldn't be fair :)))))))
This morning as I began to log in to WC, it occurred to me what an inspiring and comfortable place this has become for me.
There are so many talented people sharing, encouraging, teaching and learni.. more..