Psycho

Beautiful Girl,

Changing by her bedroom door.

Hair as blonde as gold,

And skin like porcelain and snow.

Turned around just in time,

To see a man with angry eyes.

Outside her window

But he doesn’t talk,

He only stares.

No harm will come,

is what she thought.

I’ll go to bed,

By morning he’ll be gone.

But when she woke,

He sat on her bed.

Her breathing hitched,

Scared out of her mind,

She doesn’t wish for death.

But instead of death,

He gives her kiss,

But she sends him away,

Says, “Please don’t come again.”

But later that night,

While the moon shines bright,

He comes back,

The only other soul in sight.

Out of the corner of her eye,

She see’s him there.

Turning around,

She grabs her .45

But when she looks back,

He disappeared,

He’s out of her sight.

Psycho,

Psycho,

Where did you go?

I could’ve sworn you stood there

Right by my window.

You didn’t knock,

didn’t speak,

Just stood outside,

watching me.

In the back of her house,

There was a sound.

Dropping the gun,

She thought there was nowhere to run.

Is he still here?

Or did he just go?

Psycho,

Psycho,

Why did you come?

You stood by my door,

and just watched the rain pour.

Without a second thought,

She turned to run,

But it’s too late,

He grabbed her arm

Psycho,

Psycho,

Where’d you get that knife,

I beg and plead,

Please don’t end my life.

But it’s too late,

He slit her throat.

Beautiful girl,

Blood as red as a rose,

She lays on her bedroom floor,

Without a pulse.

But there’s no one in the house,

Where’d the psycho go?

Reviews

[ANTO]

I liked the sing-song refrain 'Psycho, psycho' - like a perverted nursery rhyme. Yes it's been done to death (pardon the pun) and yet it still has an effect !! (conditioning ??)
I think the similes could be better chosen - the one's her are very common.
Lastly I would suggest jettisoning the final stanza - it lessens the impact somewhat.
Overall a great psychological thrilling poem.

[Jazzlyn B Barden]

Thank you so much for the constructive criticism, I really appreciate it! Also the end I agree with you, but at the same time I kinda wanted to give it schizophrenic psycho type of feel, like she was the psycho, just seeing and imagining eveything.

[ANTO]

Oh .. I see.. now that didn't occur to me. But yes I can see that as a much better ending - she did it herself,, s**t... yes that's an excellent twist. Bravo !! Just because I didnt see it doesn't mean other wont. Don't change a thing !

[Nicole Schuster]

I have no words. That was incredible.