Insomniac

Night,
Why are you embracing me, so much?
Silence,
Why are you screaming in my ear, so loud?
Peace,
Why are you disturbing me, so hard?
Night calls me in her adventure,
But it seems that I can't find the right doorway.
Every room I step in,
It all stays the same.
Clock ticking.
Minutes passing by.
Laying.
Breathing the illusory silence.

Author's Note

Tell me if there's any grammar mistakes or something.
Thanks for reading. :)

Reviews

[devon]

I feel like the lines "Night calls me in her adventure,/But it seems that I can't find the right doorway" capture insomnia in its essence perfectly. I love the personification in this poem. Personification is one of my favorite literary elements; you use it to your advantage well in this particular piece.

You do not need the commas in lines 2, 4, and 6.

Great poem!

[R.A. Youngblood]

Yeah, personification is one of my fav too, that's why I use it so often. And thanks!

[Beverly Jane]

I love this, the rhetorical questions used are glorious.

[R.A. Youngblood]

Thank you.

[Jane Doe]

Love it, it was different from the norm but not an abboration it was quite the opposite, excellent write(:
-a

[R.A. Youngblood]

Thank you :D

[Jane Doe]

No problem!(:

[Nath]

Really like this - insomnia itself, not so much.
The most silent of nights can be noisy when your thoughts are too loud to enjoy it. But sometimes you're just too tuned in to the night and the thought of all the things you could be doing instead of lying in your bed, in vain trying to fall asleep, that you never get a chance to close your eyes and find rest.
Great write, you've penned the conflict wonderfully!

[R.A. Youngblood]

Thank you very much! Yeah, it's disturbing, depressing, not enjoying a wonderful night.

[Nath]

You're welcome.
Yes, it is indeed!

[Leigh]

People who can go straight to sleep are very lucky, when I get up early I can sleep easily. I like the use of opposites in the opening lines, I can feel the conflict between forcing something and letting it occur naturally, can relate to this - Nice thoughts

[R.A. Youngblood]

Yeah, lucky ones. Thank you very much :)

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Tenth line maybe it would read better if you said "They all stay the same" since you seem to be referring to all the above..Enjoyed readng this one..Those disturbances happen to al of us sometimes..Sara

[R.A. Youngblood]

I meant on the feeling, not on the rooms, but yeah, it sounds better. I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it. Thanks :D

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

You are quite welcome..Sara