Child labor

Child labor

A Story by FallenAngel
"

I was in class and we had a prompt. Pretend you are a 12 year old child in the factories during the time of child labor. You have been working there since you were nine. now write about it.

"
"Lucy wake up!" a girl shook my shoulder hard, I opened my eyes slowly "Hm?" I looked out the window and saw the dark sky and jumped up as the girl said " the Overseer is coming!" I ran to the mirror and brushed my hair then my teeth. The overseer walked in "Girls to the factory now!!" all the girls walked slowly out of the room, I have been here since I was nine. The girls and guys met at the same cross walk and fused together to one mass. the girls kept their heads down. I looked up and met the eyes of a boy already in the factory, he had no clothes on and had his head down, his long hair covered his bright red face. 
I walked over and picked up some extra clothes off the bar stool and said " Slip these on and follow me!". The boy nodded and slipped the clothes on and followed me to the two empty spots and started working " Look.. Your new. Don't look the over seers in the eyes unless they are talking to you.. And don't be late... Wake up twenty minutes before everyone else and get everyone else up... Make sure you do your job right.. or your will get strapped... Don't worry. I'm sure you will fit right in". I went quiet as the overseer walked over and attached the chain to my ring and said " You won't run away Lucy.. We need you here." I kept my head down and continued my work. The boy looked pale as if he had seen a ghost, I looked to where he was looking and immediately heard a girls scream, her dress had got caught in the spinner and no one tried to help her, she was pulled towards the machine, as she squirmed and tried to get away I saw it was my best friend and started yelling " HELP HER! HURRY PLEASE!"  The overseer looked at the girl and walked away from me and shut the machine down, they started to pull her limp bloody body out from the machine. I watched as I pulled my chain as far as it would go, I saw bones clean of skin and broken in half, I stepped back to my machine and sniffled and started working on the thread in the shirt factory, I struggled to keep up with my work.
The new boy looked over and spoke gently " My name is Jackson.." He looked me in the eye and smiled gently. I nodded and said " My name is Lucy". He smiled " I'm sorry about your friend... But thank you for helping me out." I nodded and went back to focusing on my thread making sure it was all in line and filled up the spindle. Jackson was working on his thread and made cool designs hidden under layers of straight thread. 

© 2015 FallenAngel


Author's Note

FallenAngel
ignore grammer problems, might turn it into a book.

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Reviews

sad stuff, probably you could write a very good book, you have the skill :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


and thus the platypus was born

Posted 9 Years Ago


Ena Lona Kendra

9 Years Ago

your sweetness gives me diabitus
NotGoodEnough

9 Years Ago

You failed at spelling diabetes...If that's what you're trying to spell! lol
Ena Lona Kendra

9 Years Ago

no its spelled diabitus
Oh! That was hell....
Child labors are crime.
Your write for me is like a horrific dream and I want to come out with this.
...And so awful that no one came ahead for shaving her.
It might be a good book on this subject. World are suffering with this.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Why did the overseer strike Lucy when it was her friend that was screaming and a different girl that was caught. The new boy was staring too.

I like this set up. You instantly get a feel of downtrodden anxiety. If you want more people to read this, you'll need to use paragraphs instead of one block of text.

I like how we know Lucy is a good person because she helps the new boy and we know she is skilled and a rebel because the overseer says "you won't run away .. we need you here". Good job showing and not telling.

I recommend adding more description. Is it dark? What are they making? Does it smell? Is the overseer ugly or muscular or tall? Does Lucy feel sore from previous beatings?

Posted 9 Years Ago


FallenAngel

9 Years Ago

thank you. I will make sure to add that stuff in and change the text to paragraphs. that was just a .. read more
Holy F*cking Sh*t......That is demented in a very awesome suspenseful way!! I like it, even though it's not really something I would read. Keep writing!

Posted 9 Years Ago


FallenAngel

9 Years Ago

Thank You. :) that helps me know I can draw other readers
NotGoodEnough

9 Years Ago

lol You're welcome! Love you girl!!
This is actually my at home account. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


please review. I take critism but not bullying

Posted 9 Years Ago


NotGoodEnough

9 Years Ago

You are a demon!!! lol Why make me read this?? You are a terrible person!! lol :')
Ena Lona Kendra

9 Years Ago

lol your welcome girly!
and thus the platypus was born
Look at what THEMADGOD put!! .. read more
NotGoodEnough

9 Years Ago

Yeah, he told me....Sometimes I wonder what is going on in his head...lol

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Added on February 23, 2015
Last Updated on February 25, 2015

Author

FallenAngel
FallenAngel

Ocala, FL



About
I am a Country Girl, I write and Roleplay, hit me up all yall people. I might look big and bad but I only bite if you can make me scream more..

Writing