Unsayable

Love at its purest.

Upon my lips, the words crumble,

          For anything this true cannot be uttered into anything but dust.

When I work my web of sweet sounds, they are extinguished,

          For nothing so real can reach farther than the heart or the universe.

Within my heart, the lyrics will remain,

          But when needed, they will pour upon whoever looks into my soul,

For no matter how the capacity of love cannot be humanized,

          It will always be felt, heard, seen, smelled, loved.

Reviews

[Drifter]

Not bad at all. The imagery here is simple, but not to the point of inferiority. The sensations embedded in this are pretty clear; there isn't a great mystery to be solved. Still, it felt like more could be said. Maybe adding a little more mystery or more to the actual poem could provide something truly compelling. Again, this is not a bad point and I do like it. I merely think that more can be said. In any case, bravo.

D.

[Serend1p1ty]

Really great poem.
You expressed yourself really well, it leaves the reader feeling as if some great knowledge was parted.
Good work.

cloud6

[Panda]

Short..Simple..Yet very lovely. You did a good job with this. I love how you flowed the words the way you did. It is a unique and expressive as well as illusive poem. I enjoyed reading this piece :) Great job!

[The Scanners See Sound]

Very eloquent expression of a relatively inane, but everpresent issue.

I suppose I can say I enjoyed this, because it was so easy to understand; while simultaneously I can say this was somewhat disappointing, as I didn't feel challenged to figure it out.

As I said, it was eloquent, but the symbolism was a bit too 'on the nose', and obvious for me. You seem to have a talent for painting pictures and emotions with words; my suggestion is to take that further and use your language talent to mask the meanings of your pieces into a more intricate puzzle for the reader to ponder on.

[Bluerealis]

Succinct but powerful. It almost felt like a proverb, but not really. Hard to explain. :D

[Aria]

this was sweet. i love the familiar xhakespeasean vibe i get. its simple but says a lot. i just wish there was more