Night

Night

A Poem by SOUL LESS
"

Just came out of nowhere.

"

The hawk spreads its wings

And soars into the sky

In the throat of the lark

The gentle note dies

 

Flitting through the trees

A deadly game of tag

Their shadoes follow

With a slight, unpleasant lag

 

Time stands still

A deathly trance

Nature watches transfixed

Their mortal dance

 

A scream pierces the air, and the heavens weep

The devil laughs loud and long.

The winds howl, the oceans roar.

An eerie swan song.

 

The spirit moves on

Its work is done.

Light is past

And darkness begun.


SOUL LESS

© 2011 SOUL LESS


Author's Note

SOUL LESS
Suggest a better title...and some constructive criticism. Enjoy!

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Featured Review

Mayhaps the game of death? I don't know, but this is amazing!!!!!!! I love your choice of words, how elegant they sound. And I love the way you showed the larks death like a loss of innocence, "...the heavens weep/ the devils laugh, loud and long" I have to admit, this is one of the best random pieces I can recall reading:) Great Work!!!:)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Great poem, captures the essence of gothic!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Bravo, bravo!
How beatifully dark, romantic. Lovely flow.
Kind of reminded me of a brooding Robert Frost.
If you will, please review my poem.

Posted 7 Years Ago


A Mortal dance sounds fair for me!
Quite a remarkable piece of art

Posted 8 Years Ago


Mayhaps the game of death? I don't know, but this is amazing!!!!!!! I love your choice of words, how elegant they sound. And I love the way you showed the larks death like a loss of innocence, "...the heavens weep/ the devils laugh, loud and long" I have to admit, this is one of the best random pieces I can recall reading:) Great Work!!!:)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Intruiging (if thats how you spell it), dark, and lovely analogy. Overall its very well written, but for the 4th stanza, i would split the first line into 2. Just a thought. Great poem:)
God Bless

Posted 8 Years Ago


Sounds more like an empty spirit that preys on all the lesser beings in the night, when hunting season opens. Spiritual hunting season . . . maybe that would make a cool name. Or perhaps Heaven's Fall. Or something . . .

Posted 8 Years Ago


SOUL LESS

8 Years Ago

Heaven's fall seems all nice and mystic...lol...I'll take it :)
Kaylor Mason

8 Years Ago

Cool. Glad I could help :)
Though I agree with them, you have a thing for poetry (just like me)...I advise you, as a fellow poet/writer, to first WRITE what you're thinking of writing, then, once you're finished, think of a name for your masterpiece!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Wow... This is amazing! I love the language and the emotion you exressed in this is just wow! Great work!

Posted 9 Years Ago


I love this alot of details and mini stories very creative
really good job
I dont have much to criticise abt I like it all.
Exept for the title I think there are different ones you can use
But nice poem

Posted 9 Years Ago


i really like this...great write and thanks for sharing

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on January 5, 2011
Last Updated on January 5, 2011

Author

SOUL LESS
SOUL LESS

Nakushita, Kansuki



About
I am a boy. I love English Literature. I love to write. Some people hate me for it, but for me writing is like an escape from the real world. Its like reading a book except that I control what happens.. more..

Writing

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