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Diary of a mad man, excerpt

Diary of a mad man, excerpt

A Story by Dill Bagner

The title is pretty darned descriptive for this

April 15th, 2013

Dear Diary,
     This morning I woke up to my alarm clock at 6:30.  I had set it this early because last Friday I had to go in to work early.  This was deeply disappointing, as I shouldn't be getting up for another thirty minutes and I am tired.   My problem is that if I go back to sleep, I will probably be tired again.
     After five minutes or so, I got out of bed and put on my glasses.  I didn't shower, because I shower at night--it keeps my bed cleaner and has the same effect so long as it isn't too hot out, and it's only April.   My coffee machine has a timer on it which I forgot to set with my alarm clock last Friday so I have to manually start it--just like last Friday.  Great, today is already going so swell.
     I don't like to eat right away, so I watched The Weather Channel for half an hour, drinking my coffee.  Coffee makes me have to urinate, so I did that before leaving because I don't like having to use the restroom while I'm just showing up to work as it would make me look bad.  I'm trying to get a promotion to Assistant Associate of the Department.   It's been a few years, so I think I'm ready.
    Since I didn't eat breakfast, I got McDonalds.  Well, I wanted to get McDonalds but I got angry because there was a line and they got my order wrong.   I didn't have time to exchange their mistake for an Egg McMuffin so I went without food this morning.   I could always get something out of the vending machine.
   When I got into work, I clocked in.   Susan was already at her desk, which is on the way to mine, so I said hi.  She said hi back to me.   Her son is really good at soccer.  It reminds me of when I was a kid.

   So, here's the work part of the Journal Entry.  We know it by now, don't we Spencer?  Yes, you check numbers on one form to ensure they're the same as those in the System.   It's not the most interesting work, but I prefer it that way.  It's much easier, and the pay is decent and there are benefits.  I should be able to retire at a clean 55 even if I don't get this promotion.

    So after work (which included Donald getting Subway for lunch and then Stephen telling some funny joke which I can't seem to remember but it was really funny) I drove home, as usual.  I have a DiGiorno pizza, so I cooked that and watched the Miami Heat game.  They're playing some team from Cleveland, I forget which.   Basketball isn't my favorite sport, but Football isn't in season and I've got to watch something.

    After the game, I took a shower and air dried.  I heard on the Discovery Channel that towels spread germs.  Now I'm writing this Journal Entry, and concluding it as well.  I will now go to sleep--see you tomorrow.

-Spencer Adams

© 2013 Dill Bagner

Author's Note

Dill Bagner
I'm trying to work on portraying insanity in a character. How do you think I did with the narrator's condition? Do you think it's believable?

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Added on December 22, 2013
Last Updated on December 22, 2013
Tags: diary, insanity, nuts, sad, etc, boohoo, tags


Dill Bagner
Dill Bagner


I don't take this seriously, nor am I capable of revision, rereading, editing, or anything related to a piece that isn't typing words and pressing enter. What does this means? It means that I wou.. more..