The day after you're gone

The day after you're gone

A Poem by Farhan Shaikh

Morning after you're gone,
I'll sit in the cafés
But you will not be there
You will not be😢

In the noon after you're gone
I'll buy you your favourite book
But you will not be there to read
You will not be😞

After noon you're gone,
I'll play you your favourite song
But you will not be there to listen
You will not be😖

Evening after you're gone
I'll go outside for a walk
But you will not be there to hold hands
You will not be😥

And the night after you're gone
I'll cry my heart out on to my pillow
But you will not be there to hug me
You will not be😭

© 2019 Farhan Shaikh


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VP
Its absolutely amazing. I am not a very emotional person but this did stir a lot of feelings. Good luck for all your future pieces.

Posted 2 Months Ago


that is very beautiful and deep. Thank you for sharing

Posted 4 Months Ago


This is a beautiful piece, that has torn my heart out of my chest. Well written heartfelt piece.

Posted 5 Months Ago


lost love,sad heart,a sweet love torn apart

Posted 6 Months Ago


Such a sweet and well-written poem, it clearly shows true emotions in the words written.

Thank you for sharing.

Posted 7 Months Ago


This is sweet but sad, and I quite enjoyed it. Really well execute. I merely have to critique you on some sentence structure, and you would then have a gem.

-The morning after you're gone
I'll sit in the cafés,
But you will not be across from me
You will not be

(the "the" is congruent with what you do in the rest of the poem, and "be across from me" smoothes out the musicality).

-"But you will not be there to read it" (you need the "it" for it to make sense).

-"The afternoon after you're gone" (to keep with the flow of the piece)

-"The evening after you're gone
I'll go outside for a walk,
But you will not be there to hold my hand,
You will not be"

- "And the night after you're gone,
I'll cry my heart out into my pillow,
For you will not be there to hug me,
You will not be"

(That "for" makes it clear that it's for good, and it's the biggest stab of the poem).

This is otherwise very well done! And just apply those tweaks and, buddy, you got yourself a bonafide gem of a poem! Well freaking done!

Posted 7 Months Ago



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Added on March 10, 2019
Last Updated on March 10, 2019

Author

Farhan Shaikh
Farhan Shaikh

Mumbai, India



About
18, student. Slytherin. Earthling. In case you don't know, I'm a weirdo, I don't fit in, I don't wanna fit in... Follow me on Instagram @farhanshyk02 more..

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