Keep It Together

Keep It Together

A Poem by Fat

 

Being the glue that keeps this small society together is not easy.
When dependency is towered on your back,
and you haven't enough energy to hold yourself up,
You hesitate to question for a helping hand,
But if you don't ask, it will never pass by.
Shooting stars are everywhere,
I can't seem to gather enough sense to catch one for myself,
They're too fast for my liking.
 

© 2009 Fat


Author's Note

Fat
Be cruel.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE. I'm just kidding. Seriously, I am. I'm this mean to everybody.

In reality, this is an awesome poem. It captures all of the strain on the daily worker (the first line sounds like a single mom almost), but the imagery is what caught my eye the most. The last three lines left me with the image of a meteor shower. For some reason I keep thinking of someone relaxing on the ground watching it, either from surrendering to exhaustion or just being completely incapable of moving.

Great work.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Okay, all in all, It's a beautiful poem...but one thing you might want to change. See, the sentence 'I can't seem to catch one for myself, they're to fast for my liking' is a little off course. So, your talking about you are either to proud, or to lazy to catch a shooting star. Now, I've only been a member on this site for, oh, 5 minutes, but I think maybe the sentance should go something like this: "I can't seem to gather the courage to catch one for myself, I find I'm to proud to do it in front of someone, because if I did, they would know, I want a wish granted." So, maybe something like that. Heehee, you might not want to take advice from a nine-year-old, though. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I have to agree with Midnight Writer, it hints on single mom. I like the visuals that your poem provokes. Its thoughtful and moving, without trying to hard, which is key.
I like the tone that you set and how you make it seem so effortless.

It's very good!
Well done!

Posted 12 Years Ago


ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE. I'm just kidding. Seriously, I am. I'm this mean to everybody.

In reality, this is an awesome poem. It captures all of the strain on the daily worker (the first line sounds like a single mom almost), but the imagery is what caught my eye the most. The last three lines left me with the image of a meteor shower. For some reason I keep thinking of someone relaxing on the ground watching it, either from surrendering to exhaustion or just being completely incapable of moving.

Great work.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this poem! It will be going onto my reading list.
The last 3 lines are my favorite, it finishes the poem nicely, in my opinion. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago



Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

194 Views
4 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on May 24, 2009

Author

Fat
Fat

Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina



About
A winters day, in a deep and dark december; I am alone, gazing from my window to the streets below on a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow. I am a rock, I am an island. I've built walls, a fortr.. more..

Writing
With Me With Me

A Poem by Fat


Love Her Madly Love Her Madly

A Poem by Fat


Family Family

A Story by Fat