A Story by Fat

The word itself scares me.



The day of my birth, November the 2nd, in the year of 1994, must have been the end of my mother's life. I can only imagine the burden towered upon her back the second I had crawled out of her disgusting body. Now, my mother isn't a bad person. She's just misunderstood, like the rest of the hypocrites that abuse their children because their own lives are not worth being hurt. I love my mother, I hate my mother. My mother is a monster.
                My father, a hardworking man, an angry man, a strong man, an intellegent man, a man I always dreamed of becoming. I admired him from the day I was born. My mother used to tell me that while I was still in the hospital, while I was kept with the other babies, I stared at him and only him, as if I knew he was my father. As if I knew he was soon to become my hero, even as a silly little new born. What I didn't know was that he would be the same beast my mother was, an even worse monster. An animal that would paint my skin and bone purple and black.
                My brother is an annoying, impatient, arrogant, ignorant, hypocritical, and violent 12 year old boy. This is all I have to say about him.
                My life with these three people in the past 14 years of my life is indescribable. The moment I feel that the love I feel towards them is being felt back, there's always something that proves me wrong. There's always something that reveals  the sick relationship we truely share.

© 2009 Fat

Author's Note

Don't be cruel.

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This collection of characters has the potential to become a story of amazing magnitude, especially if you write the actual story with the same passion and description as this.

Posted 12 Years Ago

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What you have here are character sketches rather than a story. There's nothing wrong with that at all, becauuse it gives you a nice outline for potential story. In what you have already, you've hinted at plenty of tension as well as shown a path of development for a story. What you could do now is take what you have and put a plot to it, helping the characters to take a better shape and showing the reader how they are through various interactions, and you'd be well on your way to a full-fledged story. I think you have some real interesting tensions here that could easily be developed.

Posted 12 Years Ago

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2 Reviews
Added on May 26, 2009



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