Intimacy

Intimacy

A Poem by Fiosh
"

Tracing a line from hair, to forehead, to eyes and locking contact. Breaking free and blushing.

"
Needles rooted flowing growth light ruby red for
Orange god of continuity’s frown
Follicles born end in luminescent piercing
Shades of chalked flesh that want to collar your descent.
Lick globes as skin closes; horizon
Emanating child’s oblivion
Following crystalline purity.
Tendency to self-immolate.

© 2016 Fiosh


Author's Note

Fiosh
Any feedback is greatly appreciated, thank you for even taking your time to read this.

My Review

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Featured Review

I like much of your phrasing. It is very lyrical. I notice that both this piece and Filth are not very accessible to the reader. While it is true that the artist must be true to self, it is also true that communication is a two person process. If the reader doesn't know what to do with the piece, no communication happens. You might want to explore making your work a bit more accessible without losing the personal magic. A daunting task sometimes. I wish you the best in your writing and in your living.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Fiosh

8 Years Ago

Thank you for taking your time to read my works!
I do totally agree with your statement regar.. read more



Reviews

I like much of your phrasing. It is very lyrical. I notice that both this piece and Filth are not very accessible to the reader. While it is true that the artist must be true to self, it is also true that communication is a two person process. If the reader doesn't know what to do with the piece, no communication happens. You might want to explore making your work a bit more accessible without losing the personal magic. A daunting task sometimes. I wish you the best in your writing and in your living.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Fiosh

8 Years Ago

Thank you for taking your time to read my works!
I do totally agree with your statement regar.. read more
Interesting. This is the first time I've read a piece written like this. I like the thoughtful tone to the piece and the semi-strange imagery included in the piece. Good job. :) Welcome to writerscafe.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Fiosh

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much, there are definitely flaws I'm sure, but thank you. I hope to get better and hone.. read more
Tessa Melendez

8 Years Ago

You're welcome.

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255 Views
2 Reviews
Added on June 24, 2016
Last Updated on June 24, 2016
Tags: Amateur, Cryptic, Enigmatic, Expressive, Emotion, Free form, Intimacy, Intimate, Connection

Author

Fiosh
Fiosh

Nelson, Nelson Bays, New Zealand



About
Hello. I'm a 19 year old kid that likes to write poetry while worrying about everything around me. I probably come across as pretentious to a lot of people because of my writing, but I'm here to du.. more..

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A Poem by Fiosh