Treasure

Treasure

A Poem by Robert Trakofler (Bad Bunny)

__Treasure__

 

Still

This ache so rapacious

Thrill

Elusive, salacious

Quill

Vicious & delicious

Shrill

Sentence my audacious

Will

Semblance trepidacious

Trill

Of aspires voracious

Spill

My vision so gracious

Fill

Your aches in those spaces

Kill

Wretched pain tenacious

ill

 Fated loss pernicious

Still

I scry inauspicious

Swill

Imply perspicacious

Skill

Lacks clarity’s embraces

© 2019 Robert Trakofler (Bad Bunny)


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Featured Review

Great word play Robert, I saw challenges in life here but I must admit I was expecting a twist at the end like Moby Dick or a blue whale taking a chunk out of the krill to end the rhyme play but that’s just me lol. Too many Monty Python sketches I suffer from. Lol

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Trakofler (Bad Bunny)

3 Weeks Ago

what an ear you have Andrew a litany is hanging in the air at the end of this one I thought I would .. read more



Reviews

Your feelings come through beautifully with your unusual and attractive word choices Bunny. Pain and loss when embraced acquire much grace and touch the human heart to its utmost depths. Appreciated very much.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


Robert Trakofler (Bad Bunny)

2 Weeks Ago

Two visits from divy in one week:) I’m a happy bunny!!! Thanks;)
DIVYA

2 Weeks Ago

It’s a pleasure Bunny and so very inspiring.

There feels to me a significant discomfort or ache here, synonymous with loss.. something absent or missing..yet still truly felt like the phantom limb pain an amputee might feel.. maybe a person, a goal or a place maybe... or maybe I just need to lay down a while.. what ever the case, respect to both you and ya pen... N :)


Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Trakofler (Bad Bunny)

2 Weeks Ago

wow that is an excellent way to describe it a lost limb that's exactly it... I write it, attempt to .. read more
Neville

2 Weeks Ago


You can have both my kidneys if ya need em brother :)
This the climax of a really great spoken word set, spoke at volume with a mic drop at the end. Flows downhill like Lindsay Vonn, hips and all. Endorsed rapturously by the good guys at Kalil. Loved this BB!!!

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


Robert Trakofler (Bad Bunny)

3 Weeks Ago

He he I love it :) this would be a fun one to open mic:) thanks Crowley
Nice turns of phrase. However, after the first few lines, I found the "-ill" words distracting. So, I went back to the beginning and read the entire poem without the "-ill" words. Then, I went back again and read it third time with the "-ill" words and read them as beginning each phrase and thought they fit better. Maybe they should be the start of each line instead of lines unto themselves?

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


Robert Trakofler (Bad Bunny)

3 Weeks Ago

So you think my lines are are Ill fitted the bunny said with a shrill whine as he crumpled up the pi.. read more
MomzillaNC

3 Weeks Ago

No. I don't think your lines are ill fitted. I think the form of the "-ill" words on lines unto them.. read more
MomzillaNC

3 Weeks Ago

Maybe this form works:

Still… This ache so rapacious
Thrill… Elusive, sala.. read more
I followed You from the first line until the last one, that's when I felt that teardrop hiding inside, and knew it was just so personal to You. this isn't just about the process of creating, or the process of turning the pain into words, but even more... how it seems no words are satisfying the ache and that need inside, that need to express... and somehow it always ends with wanting something more, something else, something seems not right... but still each one of those results is a gem, a treasure... I say... write my dear Bunny, write on papers, on screens, on walls on hearts... just keep doing it, amazing form and rhythm, makes the reading more delightful and strong.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Trakofler (Bad Bunny)

3 Weeks Ago

Hello light:) well I treasure your reviews thats for sure! spot on interpretation in this one and so.. read more
Some clever and fun word play. I read the -ill rhyming words as almost directives. Quite effective:)


Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Trakofler (Bad Bunny)

3 Weeks Ago

thanks Pryde
On the art of writing, i presume...

I am sure all writer's reach for the heaven's beyond their articulate grasp summed up in your final line. Many write's lack clarity's embrace i have found and those that exude clarity and clear expression are generally the cream of the crop. You have used interesting wordplay, a trademark of yours, i see. A different style of rhyme for a different time.

Hopefully clarity's embrace will enshroud you as your writing journey continues. A unique piece of work.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Trakofler (Bad Bunny)

3 Weeks Ago

thanks Doodley yeah its funny I read your poem today that your wrote of writing on another plane of .. read more
"Treasure" seems the blood in the quill, sir. We bleed, sometimes trickling, sometimes hemorrhaging, onto these pages. The best among us make pain a happy song, threaded with hope, and that's what I read here. A man with heavy mind, perhaps heart, who writes with zest, destined to find clarity in his own thoughts, presented as words here. Another remarkable piece.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Trakofler (Bad Bunny)

3 Weeks Ago

oh I like that line... pain a happy song that is one of my favorite things to do with music write th.. read more
What first struck me about this was that you didn’t pair it with a picture. I immediately felt this was something you wanted to speak to everyone differently and on its own wordly terms.

And word feels key. I walk away feeling its a hymn to the nature of writing and our relationship to it. How it can be so many things and do so many things when we choose to embrace it. Let it become part of us in a way other activities do not.

Maybe I’m projecting my own ideas, but I did feel a sense of gathering and release. A sense of the healing process that embracing creativity can be. The love affair that develops with the process when we give ourselves over to it. I’m not sure, but that’s the image/idea I’ll be ruminating on as I move away.

As ever, you offer a unique and abundant word and idea buffet. The form is also cool because it makes me think of climbing a ladder. That seems especially apt for the writer. Great work.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Trakofler (Bad Bunny)

3 Weeks Ago

oh yes it's all about the throws of creations constant crave the last bit is the feeling I never can.. read more
How the heck do you do this amazing and skillful word-smithery dear B.B.? The form, the language, the lines, the alliteration and rhyme- the self-deprecating humor...unbelievable! Your mind must actually dance, jump, bend and vibrate to your muse. “Trill ..of aspires voracious”- and achieved every single time. The last six lines-SO vastly untrue!- merit one huge hug of encouragement from me my friend!

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Trakofler (Bad Bunny)

3 Weeks Ago

Oh Annette if I told you how little of my work I like:) i never feel I give justice to the rumblings.. read more

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150 Views
16 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on October 24, 2019
Last Updated on October 24, 2019
Tags: Hunger, crave, poetry, love, creating, composing, mandate, sickneww, artistry, unrelenting need, scrawl, write, art, depiction, semblance, repetition

Author

Robert Trakofler (Bad Bunny)
Robert Trakofler (Bad Bunny)

pittsburgh, PA



About
Hello My Name is Robert Trakofler My nickname is Bad Bunny... I am the Bunny but the bunny isn't me long live the bunny I own an art gallery and performance space in Pittsburgh called The Zeni.. more..

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