Painting of a Lonely Girl

To paint the portrait of a lonely girl...

 

Use only broken brushes and watered-down colors.

Begin with a shrunken canvas,

One that used to be pristine

But is now stained with ground-in dirt

And too-pale around the imperfections.

Outline the flawed,

Thin oval face,

Almond-shaped eyes, most hated and

Generic and muddy brown.

Eyes that have seen more of their fair share

And cried too many tears.

Outline the mousy hair obscuring half her features,

The trembling lips, the flushed cheeks.

Perch thick, blotted glasses on her nose,

Trace the curve of her neck,

Fill in the wrinkled, faded blue-gray shirt that hangs

Limp on her shoulders,

The one that droops in the front for lack of filler.

She hates that shirt.

Her arms trail behind her body

As though she's trying to hide them.

Trace the faintest hint of a thin scar showing.

Paint on skinny pant legs; they're a size 2 but they

Seem to swallow her.

As you bring the girl to life,

Show her staring into your face, so intently it seems

That she's staring into your soul.

 

You don't realize until you're finished

That you know this girl.

 

_

 

Second Position

Jul 19, 2010

• Twenty Views, Two or Lesser Reviews!!
• Painting of a Lonely Girl

Touching!

Jul 27, 2010

• Emotions!
• Painting of a Lonely Girl

Mention

Mar 6, 2011

• Creative Burst
• Painting of a Lonely Girl

Reviews

[Davina]

A real melancholic tone to this and nicely written I thought. Opens your heart right up to the protagonist.

[Ceilidh Hamm]

i really love your poem, it holds so much emotions

[Alex Ryder]

Good job! This is a beautifully haunting piece. Keep writing- you have a gift for it!!

[bonbon7810]

I love this...it is beautiful! If there were a tie for first I would've given it to you in the Emotions! contest I had. I probably should've! The details were greeat and it had a beautiful voice to it!

[OT]

I think I liked the idea and write of this one more than some of the phrasing - but there is wonderful descriptions throughout - it's creative - "Use only broken brushes and watered-down colors.
Begin with a shrunken canvas,
One that used to be pristine" - you had me hooked from the beginning - I would perhaps get rid of the final 3 lines and leave it with that "that she's staring into your soul" - leaves it lingering - great piece!!

[J.M]

Oh wow - This poem, through the description of the portrait, almost seems to paint an image in the readers mind. It feels very real, particularly the ending which is extremely beautiful. Well done.

[Annie29]

Eyes that have seen more of their fair share
And cried too many tears.

I really liked this.
You're a great writer (: