Winter's Lament

The first poem I've ever written Shakespearean style, but I'm confident enough to share it!

Winter's Lament

                              

Bleak winter folds o'er the mountains,

and settles comfortably upon the earth

to mend the grass fields of summer's dew

and weigh upon the evergreen.

It is a burden they must carry long,

their needles quivering ‘neath frost.

A chill breath brushes ‘cross hillside,

sweeping o'er light crystal powder pale,

and weaving through what hath been woven.

The sky anon grey ‘til tender sunlit horizon

should’st feel thy cheek against her breast.

I plead for thy love so luminescent,

chiseled as thy nose, nay, ivy tongue,

yet must I recount to thee my heart?

What cruelty doth thy kiss reserve?

Must thou sour thy taste for me wounded?

I whisper heavy vows withal a sickness,

not so of the body, poorly yet of the mind.

Plagued by my fathom fed thou hath wrought,

my soul hath wilted black and sickly.

‘Tis Winter within my heart, loveliest.

‘Tis the woefully lost remnants of fierte

lavishing my mind withal throat heavy growls.

Blessed be thy crest of sweetness sour,

dripped steadily upon the canvas grey.

Would’st thou take pity upon my head?

Would’st thou woo the stars as I lay?

Rounded as I am, I shan’t be beseeched by Summer.

The skinned wolf prances in triumph.

Come hither,

come hither,

I bid ye, loveliest, a good morrow.

Author's Note

I tried my best. What do you think of my first attempt?

Reviews

[Kelly Scheppers]

If "all writers have a pipeline which goes down into the subconscious", as quoted by Stephen King, then I'd say your first attempt at writing in a Shakespearean style shows promise for you, and utter delight for your reader. The foreboding of darkness and the bitterness of love go hand in hand quite eloquently.

[Cherrie Palmer]

I can't believe more poets did not grace this beautiful offering, a true delight.

[John the Baptist]

A splendid attempt to capture the Bard's language here. Reminded me somewhat of "Richard lll." Had to look up "fierte," which is apparently French for "pride," which can indeed play havoc with love. In the next line, I am wondering if "with" might not be better than "withal." Good work.