A moth amongst butterflies

A moth amongst butterflies

A Poem by Forgotten

A lot of us feel invisible,
To the naked eye we are shadows in the shade,
Afraid to be judged by others we hide,
We fade into air,
Scared of the harsh tongue and coarse verses.

I am a moth amongst butterflies,
Ugly to their callous eyes they force me to fade,
Averted gazes and contact I am often left alone,
Dull upon appearance I am a moth,
Rejected by many.

Yet upon their indifference I could care not,
A moth I may be a fact I could not deny,
Yet beneath my tattered wings, 
I speak proudly,
As I am content being the moth upon conceited eyes. 

© 2012 Forgotten


Author's Note

Forgotten
I will admit this poem is pretty bad, yet I am open for critiques :)

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Mia
One of two things is true. Either you are stupid and don’t know a good thing when you write it or you’re a perfectionist genius poet and this is the kind of stuff you write in your sleep. What is true for both those things is that, you’re wrong and this is great. I’m not an expert when it comes to poetry; in fact I just started trying it out. But I read and that’s who you’re targeting when you write something. I’ve come to learn that you can completely forgive a poem for not being perfect if it has one line that you grabs you.
“I am a moth amongst butterflies,
Ugly to their callous eyes they force me to fade,”

After reading that line...all was forgiven :)


Posted 11 Years Ago


A very interesting poem. I like the different between the butterfly and the moth. I like your logic in the poem. I like the strong statement at the end.
"As I am content being the moth upon conceited eyes. "
Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 11 Years Ago


This has the bare bones of a fantastic poem. I'd just make it 'flow' a little more if you can. I absolutely liked the theme of this. I know where you are coming from. Moths are the dull cousins of butterflies. We would all like to think we are 'butterflies' I suppose, but you are happy with being a tattered winged moth! This was profound, truly. I liked it!

Posted 11 Years Ago


This poem is amazing!
Excellent work!
100/100

Posted 11 Years Ago


I really like this poem! I love the imagery put into as well as the way I can connect to the message in it. Great work!!!

Posted 11 Years Ago


No, this definitely is not bad :) One reads one's own work so much, it's difficult to know what others will think.
I like the following line, it says so much:
"To the naked eye we are shadows in the shade,"

It's good to stand by what one believes in and not to be put off by all the butterflies out there ...
Thanks for sharing
Lizbeth

Posted 11 Years Ago


I think its simply wonderful. Simple yet delivers a loud and clear message. I love the moth butterfly comparison. Great job.

Posted 11 Years Ago


bad? i think it was awesome ....i love it

Posted 11 Years Ago


You are comfortable in your own skin-something many people never achieve in their own lifetime. Excellent. pat

Posted 11 Years Ago



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9 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on August 8, 2012
Last Updated on August 8, 2012

Author

Forgotten
Forgotten

Gloucestershire, Stroud, United Kingdom



About
My real name is John-Paul Crawford, I do voluntary work at Stroud FM and hopefully after my training will be allowed my own slot on air. Writing takes up most of my time, I'm always trying to better m.. more..

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