My time

Living life battling suicidal thoughts.

I been standing In the mirror with this blade up to my neck. Staring and staring.. losing myself slowly as the second pass by. today Feels like Yeaterday and yesterday feels like today. im starting to Realizing I'm not okay. And don't know if I
ever will be.. Happiness just isn't for mee Searching for a reason. Searching for a reason to why i deserve to live... searching searching and all i can see is your face staring back at me. telling me you never really loved me. i never felt happiness tell i looked into your eyes never felt pain tell I knew this was goodbye.. See, he took away my innocence but he couldn't take away my soul cause there's nothing left there but a ginormous hole. Im Just a soulless being. Slowly realizing This life.. This life isn't for me.. satan why satan why. he took my soul before i even knew to say no. And I can't breath.. I can't see. It's to late to save me. I see the blood I see it poring down on the floor all around me and I never wanted anything more. PRESS PRESS PRESS harder is all He keeps saying but my hands are shaking. I'm a coward trying to find the strength to let go. Nothing's more clear then the fact that I don't deserve to live on this earth anymore... I will bow down i will bow down. I will follow you Satan straight into the ground were the maggots eat away my Flesh tell there nothing left but rotten bones And I will be forgotten . The world will go on.. Don't call me selfish. This is my purpose..