The Ghost

A Fiction Poem

The Ghost            `

                          

See the ghost
he's as real as anyone I know.
He comes at night to stay awhile
then gets up and goes.

He tells me many secrets
About the days in which he lived
about the lady he so dearly loved.
He gave her all he had to give.

He recalled the time
He had asked her to be his bride.
Remembering her saying yes
He was bursting with pride.

But then the fatal day came
When lady ran away
with someone new
He, my friend The Ghost
Didn't know what to do.

He told of his eternal love
he had for her and always will
He had committed suicide
Himself he had to kill!

He said he would wait for her
Someday she too must die
He has a place waiting for her
A palace in the sky.

He said his soul was empty
but love still remained in his heart
For his Dear Lady Love
Nothing but the strings of life
would keep them apart.

He said someday she'll realize
that she belongs with him
and by the strike of her own hand
She too shall win.

Well, The Ghost said he had to go now
'Twas getting rather late,
besides, his Lady Love may be dying now
and he wants to be waiting at the gate.

Well, I sit here bleeding you see,
I just cut my wrists~by now you know
I'm his Lady Love of long ago

The other man left me
so now I must die
and go join eternity,
with my real true love
The Ghost up in the sky.

Reviews

[Damien Thibodeaux]

Hi. I was checking out another contest I got up the courage to enter and saw that you had entered it too with this poem. So I had to read this. It...it... is beautiful! So dark, so sad. It drips with melancholy and heartbreak. I love a poem about the dead that tells a story and has a twist. Excellent write. I can see you published this years ago, so i'm going to spend some time checking out some of your other work over the next few days.

[Fran Marie]

thanks Damien, so very much...so glad you are starting to enter contests...will be visiting your page soon...fm

[Zoya]

Whoa, this is quite bittersweet with a ghostly touch to it. A really good twist at the end. I enjoyed reading this!

[Fran Marie]

thanks Zoe.. much appreciated.. so glad you enjoyed;

[Zoya]

No problem!

[Addict With a Pen]

I like this a lot. It's truly eerie and a great read. I would change some of the rhymes to make the poem flow more smoothly though. You truly want the rhyming to seem almost accidental. I do like the story behind this poem and how you portrayed it. Great job!

[meena]

I finally entered a contest and saw this there and thought it seemed cool so I gave it a shot and read it and it was really great and so beautiful and dark and sad yet sweet.

I first thought he was going to be the one killing her but I loved the way it turned out! ^^
Great piece!

[Fran Marie]

Thanks meena, so glad you enjoyed.. good luck on entering contests, they're lots of fun...

[meena]

You're welcome and thank you ^^

[Diane]

Oh wow. At first I though he was going to kill her. I like it a lot from start to finish. I had to read it twice!

[Fran Marie]

Thanks, Diane, so very much,

[LastMonth]

First up- Thanks for submitting your writing into my contest.

Now, to the review.
This is a fascinating piece of art. I like poems that rhymes. I have a hard time with those that don't!
We have here a pretty good story, and you could say that there are two 'Twists' or even three. The fact that she left him-- I was expecting him to murder her or something-- The fact that he took his own life--- And finally the fact that the POV is actually the lady for which he died.

I like it, it's a nice way to end it. But it does bring a few questions to mind;
Does he know who she is?
Cant he see her? She says they speak, and he tells her of his past, but if so does he not have a way to know to whom is he speaking?

Perhaps somet things are best left mysterious and vague.
Thank you for the poem!

[Fran Marie]

Thanks for reading and reviewing..yes, he knows It is her but. She doesnt realize its her until the end as she finally figures It out..he is there to tell her its time to come join him..perhaps she is in denile That It is her destiny to be with him..and finally gives up the ghost..commits suicide dir him as he has done dir her..hope That makes sense somewhat..

[LastMonth]

Oooh. This is so much better.

[Jade Mayhew]

This... this is beautiful. Beautiful and absolutely heartbreaking. While the end didn't 100% surprise me, the way you concluded it is amazing! Toward the end, I suspected that the narrator was the lost love from his past, and the way you told the story and built it up to end... true heartache. I could feel the pain emanating from both the narrator and the Lady Love. Thank you so much for sharing this, and thank you even more for entering it in my contest!

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Jade, so very much..its a pleasure entering this in your contest;

[PloughBoy]

Hats off to you, Fran, for roundly defeating me in this contest, a contest which, I might add, I didn't even place in.

Sad write, this poem, a very melancholy musing of a dear lady committing suicide to be with her one and only true love, that ghost up in the sky.

Congratulations on winning the contest. I humbly bow before you...

[Fran Marie]

Ahh,thanks so very much PloughBoy,I am sorry you didn't place...there are scads of contests and your writings are too good not to place or win in many contests...It's all up to votes or moderators...thanks again dear friend for reviews on my work..much appiciate it;

[PloughBoy]

It's my pleasure, Fran, and again, congrats, and great job!

[PloughBoy]

Hats off to you, Fran, for roundly defeating me in this contest, a contest which, I might add, I didn't even place in.

Sad write, this poem, a very melancholy musing of a dear lady committing suicide to be with her one and only true love, that ghost up in the sky.

Congratulations on winning the contest. I humbly bow before you...

[Sarah]

This is an amazing peice. I love the 7th stanza .

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Sarah so very mch,for reviewing... .and for the winning award in your contest...much appriciated

[K. Payne]

You have great rhythm and rhyme with this poem. It flowed beautifully throughout. The end popped out at me since I though at first the narrator was just the narrator and not one of the actual characters. This is tragically beautiful work. Keep it up!
-Kay

[Fran Marie]

thanks Kay; so very much appreciated;