Burnt Pages

he walked into chapter five

love at first sight; maybe..

it was my story 

but he would end it

I floated into his sleep

as his angelic dream

and became his devilish nightmare

we danced together

through life

but tripped over each other's sarcasm

and indiscretions

by the time the tale

was written 

we burned the pages until

nothing was left but ash

in an ink stained fireplace

     we used to call love

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is one of my favorite poems I have read on this site.
What a terrific metaphor that is sustained so nicely throughout the piece.
the fireplace called love....or as the song went..."Crazy little thing called love"--

the third stanza just blew me away...tripping over sarcasm and indiscretions...

I love it.
j.

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Jacob
s o very much
for such a great review
means a lot to me; I
s o appreciate;

[jonekk]

chapter five a bit late for first sight affairs. we are sceptics by then. however, the start is clever and draws in. 'maybe' to some extent takes care of that.
stanza two, the fallen angel motive mixed with the germanic nightmare belief, is not immediately acceptable. how come? i do not think it is explained by sarcasm and indiscretion. i venture something pre-ordained and tragic triggered his dreams. what was the trigger? this stanza is almost there.
st. three sits well.
st. four: sarcasm is not hot enough to start fires, but indiscretions may add up to a bonfire. fire was a shared solution, a last thing in common. ash is OK, but i wonder if scraps of fading writing dark on dark was not left to bear witness?
st. five: ink stained is evocative and fits at first sight. however, is it physically true?
i find your poem touching, and emotionally it hangs well together.

[sylvia b barber]

This a wonderful poem! Love it!
Keep writing.

[Fran Marie]

Thank you
so Kindly appreciated

[J K White]

This is very well done. I loved it. Relationships are hard to write about and most poems I have seen are trite.

[Fran Marie]

Thanks JK..for your
kind words..i s o appreciate😊

[barleygirl]

My long trail of bad romantic choices is so ugly, I can't even look at it. I wish I could see it (& write about it) in such rich beautifully artistic terms (((HUGS)))

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Margie for reading and your
kind words..i so appreciate;

[willbradley]

Oof, that feel real, and sadly too common. It's a good expression for a relationship that's run its course. Thanks for the words.

[mattavelli]

Hello, Fran! :)
That seems like a rough ride. Haha
This is beautiful poetry, and I agree with Jacob, section three is great.
Putting effort into keeping a painful thing going is unhealthy. Thanks for sharing.

[Fran Marie]

hi Matt..thanks for reading and your kind
review on this one..i s o appreciate;

[Danny Metcalfe]

I like the image this poem creates. Like a surreal painting. Nice.

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Danny
s o very much
for the review
I appreciate;

[Just Kim]

This is so wonderful Fran, I enjoyed this one a lot

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Kim
so ver y much

[Relic]

Love is a real strange spell isn't it? You start out with so much hope but things take a turn and the harmony that was once there becomes dissonant.

It happens all the time. It's just a part of life I guess. A sad part.

[Fran Marie]

yes, love is strange
indeed..thanks Tim
so very much;

[Einstein Noodle]

real poetry here Fran! tires hit the road .. and I feel the sting of the burnouts on skin .. well done .. brutal honesty in your protagonist, if she can be called one ... you offer the book, chapter, action (that sarcasm line is killer) and closing with ink spilling on the once romantic fireplace scene ..a keeper for sure, Fran! thanks for sharing!
E.

[Fran Marie]

Im so glad you
enjoyed this one
thanks E; so much
for such an
insightful review
I s o appreciate;
I d o