`on my own`

Domino Rhyme Form

AS darkness begins to descend.
another night begins in vain.
'Tis no use to wish for your love.
so why should I try anymore.

Yet my voice still calls out your name
You rudely toss my heart aside
Like an open wound left to bleed
with poured salt, there in lies the rub

A heart so tampered, can't abide.
It has nowhere to hide, nor mend.
Cannot regain it's high esteem.
Once bitten twice shy, words to heed.

Comes the dawn, A new day to fend.
Onward and Upward~ try again?
End one heartache, open a new door.
Brightness ascends,so it would seem.

Reviews

[JohnL]

I looked first and thought I saw free verse then I read the poem over and was captivated by the unusual rhyme pattern. I don't think I would ever have thought of rhyming line 2 with line 1 of the following verse, and I have never heard of domino rhyme form. It struck me hard. Unmistakably a rhyme but only apparent when well into the poem. I really liked it. I like using rhyme to surprise. There's a bit of it in my Sensual Septet in the poem on taste and food. I also like the upward turn toward optimism of a new day in the last verse. It is a fine poem, much enjoyed..
John

[doreen cyr]

great write my friend
doreen

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

I was taken by the idea of salt to an open wound, exactly how a broken heart feels. Thank you for sharing this poem. Debileah

[Ninelilies]

I can identify with this one. Your technique is advanced...the rhyming not being anything more than an accessory to a perfect poem. My favorite lines are the first: "AS darkness begins to descend./another night begins in vain./'Tis no use to wish for your love./so why should I try anymore." And the "salt in the wound"...very cool imagery, you made it sound conversational...like so many of us do when we're talking to an old love through the distance. Very cool--S