Nocturnal

My mind wanders around the campfire that I have created within, and decisions are being made. Although it has taken 37 years to bring me to this point, I still realize that much of my life occurred within the course of four months last summer. One woman taught me so much, and although our communication has since faltered, I am still bound to her in many ways.

Through a lack of communication with her, I am left to write in a cyber cafe - a place filled with many wonderful people who share my situation personally through their own experiences. Sometimes I write poetry, but in times like this, I write monologues. I miss her and the communication that we once shared, but I know that, in the course of time, we all must move onward with our lives. I pray that she reads this monologue, recognizing me in this moment. After all, this was her home first. She is the one who encouraged my return through writing.

If she realizes anything about me, I hope that she realizes that I loved her. Unfortunately, it took losing her completely to fully realize how much. It saddens me that I never realized how much I loved her while we were still together.

Most of all, I wish that I had shown my love for her by reading more of what she wrote while she and I were still together. If anything, I have learned that the mistakes that I make in life can be devastating nocturnally. At night, my mind moves. To have known and loved her fully, I should have read everything that she had written.

The forgiveness I seek will undoubtedly never be fully given.

The night calls me, and I can still find peace within it. I still have this and the hope that she will someday read it.

Reviews

[Kat-Marie Berti]

Nice moving piece Frank, very sentimental and filled with a sad longing
Altogether beautiful and you captures the emotions amazingly

[Tony]

Well sir, this is pretty depressing. But it is written very well.
Smooth and interesting while portraying an ugly situation I know so well. Seems as though I end up screwing up the 'right' thing by my elusive dreams and dangerous inclinations. Siempre.

This was a good read, Thanks for sharing.