Somewhere in the wild

Fredapsychic writes how she feels

Somewhere in the wild
In my little tiny house
It’s so cold, I have a jacket on
Listening to the birds chirping
Crazy how the little things make me happy
It’s amazing how my mind works
Everything i visualize becomes my reality
The power of the mind
It’s the most valuable asset
Yet some don’t value it because they have it for free
The power of the mind
It’s unimaginable

I’ve been so hurt in the past
Betrayed by people who i thought had my back
Life of a dark empath
Filled with so many emotions
Feeling emotions deeper than usual
Dealing with feelings that are not even mine
Helping people out of the goodness of my heart without expecting anything in return
These same people would drag my name through the mud at any chance they got

I heard the phone calls
I heard the side talks
I heard everything false that was spoken about me
I know they see my light
Lucia she calls me
Shining brightly even when i can’t see it
Sometimes we are blind to our own light
But others can see it
Sometimes they are intimidated by it
Sometimes they are intrigued by it
Other times they want to drag you down
They want to make you feel less than you are

I’ve done so much for people that don’t deserve any of my kindness
All they did was take advantage of it
This made me become cold hearted
Sometimes you go through a series of experiences and pain
You just go numb to it
You don’t feel it anymore
You become heartless
The same people wonder why you became like that
It’s not even about people anymore
It’s about how i feel on the inside
I had to go through a lot of healing and self reflection
Deep down i know i am a kind and loving person but it’s hard to show it in a world that sees such traits as weakness

I began to protect myself and cut toxic people out of my life
Even at the slightest sign of me being taken advantage of or made to feel less than i am
If i am not treated with love and respect, i am out
I honestly don’t have time for anything that isn’t bringing me joy and peace
I am beginning to be more selfish with myself and keep my peace

I noticed i love to play
As a child i wasn’t allowed to play much or express myself
I was super active as a child and they always told me to stay calm
They tried to make me become who i wasn’t
I had to grow up re-parenting myself
I had to remind myself that it is okay to play
I had to remind myself that it is okay to say how you feel
I had to remind myself that my opinions matter
I’m still in the process of healing
I protect my energy and sanity at all cost
I don’t want anything disrupting my inner world again

The world is full of wolves looking for prey
You either hunt or be hunted
You’re either a hunter or a prey
I’m living everyday life as it comes
Sometimes I’m still confused about what this is all about
I lay in bed wondering what my purpose is on this earth
I guess non of us are making it out here alive
I strive to live my truth
I strive to be my true authentic self
Till i let go of my physical body
My soul and works would live on