Blind

Blind

A Poem by Brandon M. Whittaker
"

Figured I'd write a short one.

"
It's...too dark, I cannot see
My eyes decieve me, and so I am blind
It's...over, I feel nothing anymore
My life deceived me, and so I am dead.

© 2011 Brandon M. Whittaker


Author's Note

Brandon M. Whittaker
I love critiques.

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Reviews

It's a short poem to critique, but I'll simply respond to it. I kind of like the ellipsis in the first and third lines though I don't know why they're there. The poem also repeats the word "deceive" so I'm not sure if that is intentional. I would suggest to put another word related to "deceive" there just so that it does not sound redundant since the poem is so short. The poem itself is very general (obviously it has to be that way because it's short), but it leaves me wanting to know more.

Posted 10 Years Ago



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1 Review
Added on January 21, 2011
Last Updated on January 21, 2011

Author

Brandon M. Whittaker
Brandon M. Whittaker

Las Vegas, NV



About
Writer (unpublished) for 20 years on and off. I write fantasy and science fiction. I used to write a lot of poetry but I've moved away from that kind of writing. Hope you enjoy what you read! more..

Writing