MUTATING CLOUDS

MUTATING CLOUDS

A Poem by GBU POETRY ONLY
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CLOUD CONTEST DDL:2/20

"
MUTATING CLOUDS
Fox, bunny & horse tails kick up into a boot
The sky's the limit, it holds such familiar loot
Amelie's photos capture as she starts to aim & shoot
Is it worth discussing or is it up in the air & moot

Crisp cloudy blankets fill up the mighty blue
Darken misty cloud banks, run off into the loo
The sun peeks thru as the clouds lose their coup 
Ours spirits float & say goodbye to the doubtin' few
 
Conjure up the billowy whites & catch the silver lining
Orange flavored sunsets color white pearls as we sit there dining
Thunderclouds & drizzle leave us wet & forever pining
But dotted skies of clouded thighs keep us always smiling

Chameleon shrouds let go as jets streak up the sky
Black smoke ring swirls make 4 scrumpious chocolate silken pie
Clouded minds find their way & know the sky'll never die
Come on & play, come what may, & float in the azure so high

©2010 GBU 219 550P

© 2010 GBU POETRY ONLY


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Featured Review

Very nice piece. I really adore that you can write such a lovely piece about something we all did as children. The first stanza has to be my favorite, the opening is powerful and your words and line structure are very well chosen and executed.
There are two lines which I don't think flow together as well as the rest of the peice,
"Thunderclouds & drizzle leave us wet & forever pining,
But dotted skies of clouded thighs keeps always smiling"
I think there is something wrong with the agreemenet because skies is plural as is thighs which should make keep singluar. Just a thought, but it definitely halted me as I was reading.

I absolutely love the last line. It makes me want to go outside and see what the clouds have in store for me today.

Nice write!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This one of those poems that just sounds right it works on the same level as an abstract painting. I like it

Posted 14 Years Ago


Very nice piece. I really adore that you can write such a lovely piece about something we all did as children. The first stanza has to be my favorite, the opening is powerful and your words and line structure are very well chosen and executed.
There are two lines which I don't think flow together as well as the rest of the peice,
"Thunderclouds & drizzle leave us wet & forever pining,
But dotted skies of clouded thighs keeps always smiling"
I think there is something wrong with the agreemenet because skies is plural as is thighs which should make keep singluar. Just a thought, but it definitely halted me as I was reading.

I absolutely love the last line. It makes me want to go outside and see what the clouds have in store for me today.

Nice write!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

one word review for Feb:
billopuffous

Posted 14 Years Ago


Cloud watching. I once saw a perfect image of Shrek once. Ahem, but the most fascinating thing about cloud watching is the *whirr* and they're gone, never to return in that shape again. This poem has so much movement it leaves me giddy like one of those fast forward tapes you see to show time moving quickly. The rhyme at the end of each line, is lovely as it adds a childlike fascination with the whole process (and I admire your ability to curveball by using different word stems in the process too). Perfect for spoken word. I can see it being blasted out on the beach on a May afternoon.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 20, 2010
Last Updated on April 16, 2010

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GBU POETRY ONLY
GBU POETRY ONLY

PMC, CA



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