THAT FLIGHT OF MINE

                          That Flight Of Mine

               At the place of my dwelling, I was content still,

                        Until the anxiety escalated and weakened my will,

                        For the time was imminent; days left were few,

                        When I had to fly, to begin anew.

                       During that flight of mine, when I was amidst the clouds,

                       I wished to be like them; gratified and without bounds.

                       But it was not for me, I knew

                       I had to get down to begin anew.

                      Anticipations, thoughts in my mind were there,

                     My worries and thoughts with whom shall I share?

                     Like what would it be there for me?

                     Joy and comfort I cannot foresee.

                    The ones flying with me, seemed to be perfect,

                    Adapted to the environment; strong and adept.

                   Or acquainted with the truth , they weren't may be,

                   Wrapped in an illusion, yet seemed to be free!

 

                   An illusion, yes, there was, for me too

                   When except contemplating, I had nothing to do.

                    A little away from worries during the ascent,

                   Again absorbed in them, during the descent!

                 As  that flight of mine was about to end,

                Content to get down; I did pretend.

                I called upon You, as I neared the ground,

                Not knowing what was where to be found!

 

 

Reviews

[Riding the Rainbow]

Very good piece..the feelings were real..
well done..

[Gurdeep...The Lost]

Thanku Kejara :-)

[Riding the Rainbow]

you're welcome..

[chaotic katie]

i especially love the emotion and imagery in this piece, very nicely written.

[Gurdeep...The Lost]

Thnku Chaotic dear :-)

[reflectingus]

This is a rather curious topic you have chosen. I had never thought of flight as an epitome of the point just before new beginnings. But this poem of yours is wonderfully written, and now that I think about it, yes, we all do experience some anxiety while we're air-borne, we all have some expectations that are directed towards the place where we are about to land, and anxiety related to it. This is a very nice topic that you have chosen. Looking forward to reading more.

[Gurdeep...The Lost]

Thanky you Relfectus )

[HLDXyQ3uGx]

This is wonderful! There's something about this one that pulled my heartstrings! I really like it.

[Gurdeep...The Lost]

Thanku mindy :-)

[Rosaria_V]

This is truly beautiful, I also love how you use pictures to help take the reader beyond the already vivid words. I loved this and think your are so talented!

[Allen Smuckler]

I enjoyed this write Gurdeep...both poignant and sincere
Life is always a bit amiss...what with relationships, self doubts, and fears...
I suppose the only thing to say...is that "we are not alone"..
We all contemplate our life, our purpose, our mortality. You did a nice job exploring and conveying.
Technically, I thought the rhyming at times was forced and a little stilted which did affect the rhythm and pace a bit. Your use of near rhymes was very good (perfect-adept, bounds and clouds).
I also might rethink the use of "anew" twice. I thought at first this might be a "villanelle" where lines are repeated throughout...but even if it was not...it looks as if it was an oversight...HOWEVER, and this is only my opinion Gurdeep, If "anew" was used MORE often, I believe it would enhance the feeling of change and confusion and"anticipation."
Of course, this is my interpretation of your message...
The write as a whole was very good and my comments are just random thoughts as I read "That Flight of Mine"
well done
allen

[Gurdeep...The Lost]

Thnku allen )

[Poetic Beauty]

Deep thoughts and great anxiety going on in this poem. I am not sure why the narrator had to begin anew but we all have to begin again at some point in our lives. Whether it be in location, job, love, or artistic ability. We are constantly evolving. It is always scary starting over and even harder if there is no one beside you to help you in those moments of worry. This poem shows the vulnerable side in all of us that we hide from the world.

[Gurdeep...The Lost]

Thnku for reading poetic :-)

[Poetic Beauty]

You are more than welcome.

[Kate Ruta]

Very nice poem. I enjoyed the read. Very interesting.

[Sami Khalil]

A splendid read and write . I like the content of this poem...Thank you for posting...:)

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the complete poem.
"During that flight of mine, when I was amidst the clouds,
I wished to be like them; gratified and without bounds.
But it was not for me, I knew
I had to get down to begin anew."
I tried to escape my life and did begin anew four times. Hard to start a new life. I like the above lines. It would cool to be free of memories and be able to float like a cloud without fear. I like the ending. Unknown places and not knowing what to expect. Leave us waiting for something to believe in. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Gurdeep...The Lost]

Thanky Coyote :-)