The Snowy Hike

entry into a ten-word contest

The snow appeared without hesitation,

our outfits left to the imagination.

A beautiful sight,

A horrible plight.

We rented a cabin out and up the road.

Yet our neglect to wear warm clothes

caused our shivering in the snow.

Until we lit the hearth up the road, 

in the creepy rental abode.

We stood together for warmth.

Her frigid breath upon my nape,

was a guiding hug

was a guiding tug

to the basement steps behind us.

As I turned to face her

our legs began collapsing,

simultaneously,

for a moment I felt frozen!

We went back to the hearth,

with warm furs and thick blankets,

by each other's warmth we shed our egos:

we spent the night in laughter!

- G.W. Saitreux

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I love the way you used the designated words in a way that is seamless & invisible to your message. This is a story in verse that's honest & refreshing. I was picturing the scene & feeling the cold (I live in a cabin in the mountains & it's COLD in here, this morning!) Nice job of ending this on a playful note! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[G.W. Saitreux]

Thanks for the review! I am glad you picked up the mountain, I too live in the mountains and wanted to convey the winter at elevation.

[emmajoy]

Such a wonderful use of the given words.. congratulations!

Delicate visions, deftly put, but then that final line - relaxed and happy, was picture perfect.

[ESamples77]

The poem flows very well. The 10 words are placed beautifully!

[G.W. Saitreux]

Thanks for the review!

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the thoughts and how you described the Winter. You led the reader to a happy ending where two people accepted some warmth and some laughter. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[G.W. Saitreux]

Thanks for the review! I'm really glad you enjoyed my descriptions of winter, one of my favorite seasons.

[Coyote Poetry]

I did enjoy and you are welcome.

[Yari Garcia]

This was truly a pleasure to read :-) Again (as I commented on another one of your poems), the rhythm in this poem when read aloud is beautiful.

You cannot tell this poem was made to deliberately have the 10 words. It just flows so naturally. Very well done!

Yari

[G.W. Saitreux]

Thanks Yari, I really appreciate your kind words

[Helena]

Oh that was a wonderful read. Full of lovely imagery and a clever use of the 10 words. Thank you for submitting this to the challenge!

Helena

[G.W. Saitreux]

Thank you for creating the challenge and the review!