Forever Lost In Me

R.I.P Christina Gribbins, my mother.

Say....You said to me

You told me not to break

You're laying 6 feet down

Because of my mistakes?

You know what, I will say

I'm starting to be feeling followed

Forever lost in me

Never to be found in me.

Time, is getting tired

Why can't I give it a break?

"You want to commit suicide?

Honey, that won't kill the pain"

Your words, always stay

I'm surely being followed

But I never said it wasn't okay

In fact, It's very okay

Follow me, Into the dark

Follow me, Where you CAN escape

Follow me, Where you become an art

Follow me, Before you go INSANE

Father? Why did you do this to me?

Father, I thought you loved her

Father, Why her not me?!

Father, Why have you forsaken this FAMILY?!

Memories, Forever lost in me.

Love for you, Never to be found in me.

I'll be gone with her, Where I can escape

All you find is my forsaken me.

You, Forever lost in me.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This poem draws a picture of a hot mess of a family, which is a lot like my own. It's a little unclear to me (sometimes addressing mother, sometimes addressing father), but I think the narrator both loves & hates whom he's addressing in this poem. I've had the feeling of being followed by memories or bad feelings, leftover from someone who's meant something in my life. This following, as expressed in your title & thru-out, is the most unique aspect of your rant. People rant to the person following them, as they also feel self-hate for willingly carrying this junk around. Intense, thought-provoking poem.

[Avinash]

I recently lost my mother with whom I had a troubled relationship as well. We had several issues between us and so did the love. Her departure was a closure for me.

[Richard Patrick]

That allowed us to understand how you are feeling. My parents broke up long ago. It may take forever but you will heal. We may not understand why the broke up? Even if we have experienced the reason. Why they have done this. Your dreams allow to you see, what was there. You may not know all the reasons for the break up. You say you love someone. The bough can only be bent so far, before it breaks. Some times, if we are the one who breaks up with us. WE can not or will not see what the cause of it had happened to them.
At the time, we are too close to the problem, to see it.

[richieb]

Douglas, my heart goes out to you. You did the best possible thing to deal with your grief by writing this poem. Write more if it helps you, by going deep inside ourselves to express our feelings we find hidden strengths to help us along. May Jesus wrap his arms around your Mama and you giving you peace, calm and shelter. Richie B.

[Cyndy Robinson]

I don't think any of us ever understand our parents. Will go a step further and say it is their job to understand us no matter what. I learned more about my parents when they were dead than when they were alive. This poem does a lot to capture a picture of the grief process. She told you not to break but did, you blamed her, yourself, and your dad. Death is incomprehensible. Wonderful job of portraying that.

[Valentine]

I think it is hardest on those who think life is forever. None of us really have the choice when to go. God has His plan...but I think satan is the deceiver that makes taking ones own life an option. Never listen to that evil one. Valentine

[Coyote Poetry]

A very sad poem my friend. Lost of a mother. A hard thing to understand. I will you and mother in my prayers.
Coyote

[Chirag Kumar]

A very touching tribute to your mother. May her soul rest in peace.