There once was a war

"Madness is rare in individuals--but in groups, parties, nations, and ages it is the rule" - Nietzsche

The Trench by Otto Dix

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There once was a war,

civil but unruly,

of two opposing teams

in the trenches, truly.

 

Their voices, they were sore,

for incessant shouting cruelly,

and with it they demean

the other for shouting cruelly.

 

Stones, they would soar,

from side to side dually,

but each tried to make it seem

that the other was the bully.

 

As serious as they were,

funny they were surely,

for at whom they screamed

neither side knew truly.

 

Team one loved the poor,

but the poor they used impurely;

they claimed them as supreme

but as shields they used them fully.

 

Team two, team one allured

with words obscene, unruly.

The goal: they made it seem

that the poor team two bullied.

 

Rocks and stones and more

team two threw so crudely,

but the poor, team one’s regime,

were used as shields fully.

 

Then team one deplored

team two for being bullies:

“Bigots!” team one screamed,

“You hate the poor so cruelly!”

 

Blood, they thought it poured

for team two’s warring crudely,

but they, too, as a team

threw the stones just as cruelly.

 

Equal they were in score,

for guilty they were dually

of hypocrisy that gleamed

so bright, both were blinded fully.

Reviews

[Helen]

There's some lines and ideas in this that really spoke to me. Team ones claim to (be fighting for?) the poor, while exploiting them and using them as shields, for example. The hypocrisy that is expressed so well in the last verse:

Equal they were in score,
for guilty they were dually
of hypocrisy that gleamed
so bright, both were blinded fully.

I really love the poetry - the rhyme - in this last verse. It just flows and ends with a hefty punchline that really brings the poem together.

[Garrett Leatherman]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and to leave me your thoughts on it. I wanted to tie any loose ends in that last stanza, and it looks like it did just that for you! Glad you liked it

[.]

This definitely reads like a summation of the states at present; two sides, both dwelling in cesspools of hypocrisy, slinging the mud at each other and trying to be the moral winner. Even two sides in a personal relationship spring to mind as well, so i enjoy the possible duality of meaning in your poem and the narrative rhyming style of the piece. Much enjoyed, Garrett! :)

[Garrett Leatherman]

Thanks for reading and leaving me a review, Jamila! Your interpretation is fantastic.

[Mauricio Montoya]

There was once a war, I love the rhyme but reading the first versus made me think of our first world war mostly fought in trenches but this is not a history lesson, what capture me in this write is all wars and what that they as winners or loser may have felt or saw or would live or die, some may love this and some may hate this, but it is what it is.
excellent write

[Garrett Leatherman]

Thanks for reading this and for your review, Mauricio!

[Mauricio Montoya]

hey what you wrote is good do you mind if i shelf this in my library

[Garrett Leatherman]

Of course not. I'd be flattered!

[Mauricio Montoya]

never rest on your laurels, we as writers have our flaws, so make the next one from what you feel now, be better than before.

[Garrett Leatherman]

Constantly learning and improving

[light and ashes]

This is in my eyes what it is when people argue. Both sides throwing rocks at each other and are too ignorant to see that they are both wrong.

[Garrett Leatherman]

Hi Lights and Ashes. Thank you for reading this and giving me a review! Your interpretation is quite accurate

[light and ashes]

Thanks and you're welcome.