Second Move

Second Move

A Story by Onatah
"

A game I once played with a friend.

"

I cleared the large square dinner table and placed all of the irrelevant objects in a corner somewhere. None of it mattered at the time. I was focused on other things; I was focused on the game. The table was too large to place the board in the middle. Someone would pull something by the end of it. I didn't panic that the table was too large, but rather took advantage of it. I placed the board on one edge of the table so that we could seat ourselves comfortably, and then I set up the pieces. I took a sip of tea, the very last sip, and placed my empty cup on the table. I was still very thirsty and could go for some more, but it wasn't the time for that yet. I had already thought of this problem and planned a solution long before I set up the board. With the pieces set, I looked down at them. I walked around to the edge where I frowned at the set on the left and poked at the Queen; I didn't like that side too much; I preferred the Queen to be to my left. There is something about the Queen being on my right that throws me off a bit. But no one gets to choose these kinds of things. You get what you get, and you are stuck with what you get.  I stopped prodding the Queen and pretended to tip over her King, but I would pull him erect again before he ever really met his end.


He walked into the room and looked down at the chess board with excitement. I asked him if he was thirsty and if I could get him something but he wasn't having any. I grabbed my cup and walked into the kitchen"only for a moment"just long enough to fill my cup and return. Whenever I had returned there were two pawns missing from the board and two fists raised towards my face. I tapped his left hand with my right, and he handed me a piece. He sat himself down on the left and I sat on the right. Then I made my second move.

© 2011 Onatah


Author's Note

Onatah
This is actually a true story. Happened yesterday. I thought of this while I was at work today and wrote it when I came home. I have done a few minutes of editing on it, but not much. It's mostly in it's rawest form right now. Just kind of anecdotal at the moment; need to spice it up with some clever language and such. Please criticize it. Thank you.

My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Featured Review

I really like the details of this peice. It's those little things that people forget to mention when writing even though it's the little things most people tend to notice and focus on. It always makes me smile to read a peice like this that is so descriptive and beautifully written. And it's the details that make it so. It's the details that keep it so real. Thanks for sharing this peice!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.



Advertise Here
Want to advertise here? Get started for as little as $5

Reviews

I like the simplistic story telling you use in this story. I could easily follow the imagery and love the underlining message of patience that seems to be woven through it as well. I don't know if you intended that. A good chunk here.
A joy to read.



Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like it! Its simple, yet written at a good, easy pace. It feels like you aren't trying to pull us into a story but just share a moment of memory, and sometimes its nice to just be pulled into a little moment!

Posted 8 Years Ago


QP to E3? or are you a KP's man?

Posted 8 Years Ago


Pretty cool, good approach to it and everything. I can't honestly say that i enjoyed it but thats a personal thing, I sort of prefer abstract stuff lol, not a criticism of the essay :). When i take it for what it is, I must say it was well done and well written. good job

Posted 8 Years Ago


It's brillant I liked how he thought he could get away with it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


This brought a chuckle out of me..does he play fair or do both of you cheat now anathen>>Kathie

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is awesome. Very clever.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really like the details of this peice. It's those little things that people forget to mention when writing even though it's the little things most people tend to notice and focus on. It always makes me smile to read a peice like this that is so descriptive and beautifully written. And it's the details that make it so. It's the details that keep it so real. Thanks for sharing this peice!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Not much to criticize. Nice pace. easy to follow and even relate to.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Well written and decently paced.

Posted 8 Years Ago



Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

543 Views
10 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on April 19, 2011
Last Updated on April 19, 2011
Tags: clever


Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Bartholomew Bartholomew

A Poem by Fegger