A Beat Of The Wings

A Beat Of The Wings

A Poem by Devons

Antenna and feelers picking up scent
Descends upon flowers, the honey well-spent
Hops bed-to-bed, escapes vent-to-vent
A meander on breezes
with hovering intent

Its vacuum absorbing all that is bright
Consumption for colour, all red, black, and white
Flawless, yet fragile, a glorious sight
Fearsome to predator
Evasive in flight
Stuck in a cobweb, caught in a net
Energy burnt like a quick cigarette
Blood-letting, conflict, deep-red in debt
A gamble of moments
On a destiny bet

Life is short and existence small
Life is a butterfly perched on a wall
Fly away Peter, fly away Paul
A beat of the wings
Then it's death to us all

© 2010 Devons


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

okay, this is going into my favorites, like, right now. :) it's very beautiful... there is just a delicate sensitivity about it that immediately speaks to me... that last stanza leaves me speechless ('fly away peter, fly away paul' = is there such a thing as religious romanticism because that line is fantastic)... today i overheard someone say 'the universe doesn't give a s**t about us' -- i think you're saying the same thing here, just in a more gentle, intricately woven way... wonderful rumination on the frailty and transience of life. total love.

(ehh, just reread what i wrote, and sorry if i sound off, i'm very tired... to bed nao. bye.)

Posted 13 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

So very much enjoyed this wonderfully wrought and exquisitely rhymed poem.

We are indeed no more than a blink of the creator's eye, but in that blink, if we care to look, there lies so much.

The last stanza truly is a poetical master class


Beccy.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I cannot review this wonderful poem as it has left me speechless!
love it love it love it

Posted 13 Years Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
.
your use of descriptive words is wonderful..you rhyme is tight. This is another spellbinding piece..covering our whole lives in one poem and the last stanza which for me ties it all up..lovely

Posted 13 Years Ago


Advertise Here
Want to advertise here? Get started for as little as $5
Marvellous stuff. And we are in the butterfly month now. Should be a good year. I used to raise small tortoiseshell caterpillars in an old fish tank when I was a kid. Watching them emerge from their in-between state was always a marvel. But there are not so many around now. As for your poem, tis a delight. I like the rhyme, but don't recongnise the form. I started counting syllables but gave up as it seemed against the free spirit of the expresssion. The observation of Nature's great art is acute. I esp like the sense that nothing is quiet what it seems, esp the notion of Nature creating the image of ferocity in something so fragile. But it is the notion of life flitting away before our eyes, esp in the last two verses, particularly the stinging dismount in the the last one.

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is wholly beautiful and definitely thoughtful amidst it's intercontextuality and wonderful butterfly imagery and metaphors. I love the quick rhyming pattern, and i suppose it could be reminiscent of a quick fleeting worldy life in a big universe? Which then in turn could relate again to the ideas presented by the watching perched butterfly.
I really adore this poem!

Posted 13 Years Ago


This as always..is a lovely poem.There are so many reviews that i see here,I just hope i do not bring up the same observations.
I like how your poems always gather momentum and peak in their emotion as they reach the end.Here too the last stanza,sums up the poem very very well.It brings forth an unusual note,an almost unpredictable turn.This could have been another poem on butterflies,but what you say in the end raises the poem from good,very good to a category where adjectives are hard to find.
Its vacuum absorbing all that is bright
Consumption for colour, all red, black, and white
Flawless, yet fragile, a glorious sight
Fearsome to predator
Evasive in flight
The second stanza was very eloquent,it describes the fragile beauty of these winged creatures very well.There are two specific lines here which caught my attention,Consumption for colour, all red, black, and white
Flawless, yet fragile, a glorious sight..you say a lot when you say flawless yet fragile :) and for a moment i am compelled to think this could be for humans too..a flawless physical beauty might be equally fragile.
Then as we come to the second last stanza,
Stuck in a cobweb, caught in a net
Energy burnt like a quick cigarette
Blood-letting, conflict, deep-red in debt
A gamble of moments
On a destiny bet
I am extremely in awe of the neat contradiction you have etched between this stanza and the one prior to it.From the almost majestic beauty of the butterfly we are transcended to sudden death,destruction.I love the line energy burnt like a quick cigarette and also deep red in debt.
Then,course the last stanza which undoubtedly is the best.It brings together a justified conclusion to the prior two stanzas which had evoked contradictory images in the reader's mind.Life indeed is a butterfly perched on a wall.
Very introspective,beautiful and so very well structured.


Posted 13 Years Ago


It does go by quick doesn't it my friend. One second we're a fluttering flower in the breeze, the next, we're a Rorschatch ink blot test on a windshield..

What does it all mean? Why does it have to mean, anything?

This meant a lot, fly low, be careful for the webs!

Enjoyed this.
Antonio


Posted 13 Years Ago


Fly away Peter, fly away Paul
A beat of the wings
Then it's death to us all

A most profound of piece of writing, the ending sums it

all up rather nicely in this well crafted verse,

Great Pen!!

Posted 13 Years Ago


fantastic indeed. the structure very consistent never sounded unnatural, and you superbly rhymed and presented vivid imagery and textbook "extended metaphor". The entire last stanza was really the strongest "a beat of the wings" really struck me because it so perfectly captures the fleetingness of life, almost book ended by such theological heaviness...the one part that read a little awkward for me is "A gamble of moments/on a destiny bet" rhythm wise, and because "destiny" seemed so grandiose compared to the rest of the theme...other than that small detail, bravo!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Fantastic, maybe it's because it's late at night but I didn't feel the metaphor and discussion of death being built until it was said literally 'life is a butterfly'

Beautiful, endless idea, that on the second read just becomes even more intricate. Well written, liked the connotations of the cigarette being stubbed, there was an ordinariness about it.

Going in my favourites, subtly done :)


Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1452 Views
38 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 8 Libraries
Added on June 7, 2010
Last Updated on June 25, 2010

Author

Devons
Devons

South West, United Kingdom



About
WE BREAK ACROSS THESE TRAM LINES I DRAW by Haz I draw them with lines of reflections through their steps enough space between them for your space.. more..

Writing
O Superman O Superman

A Poem by Devons



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..