Pages Of Me

a poem,an analogy,of my world right now

take my hand, take a walk with me across this page, of this open book    we don't have to start,  at the beginning we can start where ever you like,  as long as we reach the end together    pick a page,  any page but the reading, wont be light    pick a number,  any number or let the breeze,  from the open window be your guide    there maybe,   a lot of pages but there is nothing,   to hide    it might be,  quite full but there still,   plenty to write    and if you look,  at the pages from when you,  entered my life    you will see,   the ink changes colour since its the page where my heart is,  and its your name that's been sighed.

Reviews

[L. J. Clayton]

Mmmm, love the gentle and emotive imagery that this evokes. I can feel the tentative nature of someone holding their life open for scrutiny of one they hope to share their life with. Very nicely done.

Just a couple of points for you to consider, feel free to ignore if you wish.
1) There are a few extra spaces before some of your commas.
2) There are a couple of commas at your line ends that I feel could be omitted, but that is just my personal thought, not a correction. one such line is;

from when you,
entered my life

To me the comma here dissects the thought.

Your last two lines are just so magical... I really did feel the sigh.

Thank you for sharing.

Laurie

[mishka]

Awe...

Its pretty! :)
How romantic. it makes my heart want to float away, softly ^_^