An Empty Vase

An Empty Vase

A Poem by Gillzy

Something bright fills me.
Smell sweet scents.

        Something rotting lives in me.
        Tell tired tales.


Excitement.

        Decay.


I don't want to wash it out.
I can't

        Wash it out.


My flowers are beautiful --

        Roots are dead.


Get rid of one.

        Get rid of the other.


Maybe it's best to

Be an empty vase.

© 2008 Gillzy


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Featured Review

This is very unusual Gillian, interesting as well. I'm assuming it's non-fiction...if not the same applies...
It's never good to be an empty vase, it's much wiser to accept what you can't change in this life.
I like the way you've written this piece...It commands attention! Good for you, you go you good thing...Write some more, get it out of your system!
Cheers...

Posted 14 Years Ago


9 of 9 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

sad poem. not in it's telling but in it's feeling. better to think the glass half full rather than half empty, or poisoned. it's a conversation with self and self is winning at the moment. well told. one question, as i'm just getting used to the new site and i need to know if the separation is your work or the sites. if yours, good idea, maybe italicise the counterpoints as well. if the sites, very intuitive. as always, very good work.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Liked this. You could possibly use a different line than 'Get rid of the other' to make two separate poems linked together, maybe just Get rid'? and see if you can move 'Be an empty vase' between the two.
That would be perfect for me. Having said that, I know you are not writing for me but thought I'd tell you anyway.....he he!

Great idea. Keep 'em coming!

Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

great piece

Posted 14 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

This was a very successful writing of an inner struggle. I felt your indecision and frustration. An empty vase was a very strong and powerful symbol for the emptiness that we all feel in our lives at times. There will be a time when you feel the need for pretty flowers, to put back in your vase, once again. Until then, continue to write. It's the best and cheapest therapy I can think of. :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Indecisive, not quite sure, a wonderful contradiction. Growing though, you can sense it throughout the piece. I liked this.

xxoxx

Posted 14 Years Ago


4 of 4 people found this review constructive.

a sad but well spaced out poem. I like it, sometimes it's best to be nothing, to have nothing and to empty our mind. Great thinking here or unthinking lol

Posted 14 Years Ago


6 of 6 people found this review constructive.

Hey you! I love the way you've structured this poem. The parallels make for an interestin read, bursting with indecision and ambivalence. Truly an indication you are starting to become more conscious of the way you write and what you are trying to express. Your development as a poet is really quite something; you've come a long way!The empty vessel of the vase, well, you know it's built for flowers and one day it'll be bursting in colours! ;-)

Posted 14 Years Ago


5 of 5 people found this review constructive.

But an empty vase is not serving its purpose. Great metaphor. Wonderful poem.

Posted 14 Years Ago


7 of 7 people found this review constructive.

Beautiful

Posted 14 Years Ago


7 of 7 people found this review constructive.

Thank you for sharing this. I feel the indecision, I sense the debate...but I think I agree with Helen. It is never best to be totally empty. Always keep that last bit of Hope pinned in the bottom of the vase, like Pandora's box. :) This is a lovely, sensitive write, and the form adds a depth and dimension to it that is quite striking. Well done!

Posted 14 Years Ago


8 of 8 people found this review constructive.


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Added on August 7, 2008

Author

Gillzy
Gillzy

Scotland, United Kingdom



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