Chapter 1

Still a working progress, also being examined by my English teacher so that I can fix and improve it. You're input would be greatly appreciated.

The girl sat in silence, a bead of sweat rolling down her cheek, her heart beating quickly within her chest. Her breath came rapidly and she could feel her hands heat up. The kids that surrounded her hurled insults at her and she kept her head down, keeping herself from making eye contact, her flowing red hair blocking any chance of meeting eyes. The kids suddenly went silent and the girl slowly lifted her head, her bright blue eyes meeting the ones of him. He stood there, in front of her, staring into her eyes and she pleaded with him, her eyes begging him for help. He took a deep breath. “S**t...” The girl let the tears fall then, her heart breaking with each step as she ran from the group.

♫

The sound of footsteps alerted the girl that someone was walking up to her. She pulled her knees closer to her and wrapped her arms tightly around them. She caught the very familiar scent of the person as he sat beside her and put an arm around her waist. She pulled away and out of reach of the one she hated to be away from.

“Come on, Clare-bear. What else was I supposed to do?” He asked, his voice very whiny. She shook her head and jumped to her feet. She paused as she started to walk away.

“Maybe defend me once in a while…” She began to walk and a hand caught her wrist.

“Come on, Clara.” he sighed. “They’re my friends. I can’t go against them. I’d lose them and have nothing left.” She blinked the tears away that had began to form in her eyes.

“You’d still have me…” she whispered. “But then again, I’m just a s**t, I’m just a nothing.” she pulled her wrist sharply and he let go, letting his own hand slap against his thigh as it fell. She heard him curse under his breath.

“Clara, you know I didn’t mean it like that.” He reached for her again, but she stepped out of reach.

Still with her back turned towards him, she said, “Then how did you mean it? What did you mean when you called me a s**t? Did you mean that one, or what?” She turned towards him, finally letting him see the pain that shone brightly in her eyes. “I know I’m nothing but a play thing to you, and I won’t stand for it anymore.”

“You’re not a play thing to me, babe. You’re more than that. You’re my life, my soul, my love. You are everything to me.” he said, looking the girl in the eyes.

He saw the pain increase in her eyes and knew that she wanted to believe those words that he had uttered but he also knew that this time, he had hurt her too much. He had finally done the undoable. He had broken her trust and sent her into the deep end, the one place he had tried his hardest to keep her from entering ever since they met.

He never meant to hurt her. She really was his world. But when he was around his friends, he had to act a certain way. They weren’t of the same social group. She was one of the Losers and he was one of the Preps, he was a Jock. He loved her, but every time his friends would pick on her, he had to join. Being in the popular group had always been his dream when he was little and now that he had achieved that dream, he wasn’t going to let it go over some girl. No, she’s not just some girl, he thought to himself. She’s the girl for you, and you’re about to lose her because you just must be in that group. He sighed at the internal conflict going on through his head and looked into those baby, blue eyes that belonged to the girl of his dreams. She was the most beautiful, sweetest, most amazing girl that he had ever met, and he was almost losing her over his friends. But how could he explain to her about his dream to be popular as a child, and how his mother expected him to remain in the In crowd because she had been in it when she was a teenager in high school. She wouldn’t understand. She’d just brush it off, saying he could be whoever he wanted to be, it wasn’t his mother’s decision. She didn’t understand that because they had grown up in to different settings, him as a rich kid, her as one of those “other kinds” as his mother put it, she wouldn’t have the same expectations from her family as he did from his. He couldn’t disappoint his mother, and if that meant hurting this vulnerable girl, he would. He looked at her, into those eyes he loved so much, and he knew that she had seen the conclusions he had reached. A tear slipped silently down her cheek, and she took a deep breath. Clara turned around and slowly walked away, leaving the one she had put first in her life for more than two years now behind. Kingston watched her go and he felt his heart go with her. He opened his mouth to call her back to him, yearned to run after her and keep her inside his arms where she would never feel or see pain again. But he held himself together and watched her go. It was a hard choice for him to make, and there was no going back after this.

A small tap on his shoulder made him turn around and he was caught by surprise as a tall, slim girl planted a kiss right on his lips. “Hey, there, cowboy. Missing a little company?” she asked, her tone full of seduction. She looked behind him and rolled her eyes. “Talking to little miss Loser, huh?”

“No.” he said, quickly. “Simply paying her for doing my homework for Chemistry. I can’t be spending all that valuable time on homework when I could be spending it with you.” he pulled the blonde to his body and brought his lips to hers.

“Oh, I like your thinking.” she said, pulling away from him. “Wanna go to my house for a little alone time?” she asked, a gleam in her eye.

“Sure, why not, Bethy.” he said. He could feel the guilt of what he had done to Clara slip away as Beth distracted him. She intertwined her fingers with his as they walked away from the tree that him and Clara had been standing under. “Your dad home?”

“‘Course not. When is he ever?” she smiled at him. “But that’s a good thing. It just means more time with you.” Kingston smiled at her and decided to let his thoughts of what he had done to Clara go. He didn’t want to ruin a good time with this beautiful blonde by accidently saying Clara’s name. He held the door to his car open for Beth and admired her body and she slipped in. She was a thin girl, not too thin like anorexia thin. She had meat on her bones and it made her look all the more desirable to him. He quickly shut the door and made his way to the driver’s side.

“So, what do you have planned for us on this fine evening?” He asked, his mind reeling with many thoughts of what was to come later that day.

♫

Clara walked slowly home, the look in Kingston’s eyes haunting her thoughts. He had finally did the one thing he had promised he would never do. He had broken her heart and left her completely alone. Kingston knew he had been the only one she had ever trusted ever since that unfortunate night. And he had gone and left her. The tears flowed freely now and she walked blindly down the sidewalk. How could he do this to her? He knew, and he still did it. She rubbed the scars left on her arms and felt the fresh ones. The ones he hadn’t seen, that he would’ve seen had he not ended it. He had helped her through thick and thin, showed her techniques that usually kept her from her habits. But the constant onslaught of insults thrown at her by the group he belonged to caused her to be pushed over her wall. And she broke when she fell. She had a total of sixteen scars on just one arm, and at least ten new ones.

She listened as cars drove past her, their music blaring loudly, laughter could be heard every once in a while. Who was she to not be able to experience the carefree happiness that everyone else seemed to be able to have? She knew the answer. She was the troubled loser that went to Lincoln High and had somehow managed to gain the attention of the number one popular guy in school. But now he was gone, and she was left as just the troubled loser. Most people thought she was insane when they saw the many scars that covered her body, mostly her arms but also her stomach, legs, and back. She knew many ways to hide the fresh ones. She was tormented many days, many weeks, many months for them. She was called insane, psychopath, mental, loser, and even s**t, though she had never once slept with a person in her life. The only person she had come close to was Kingston and she had stopped him, not because she didn’t trust him, but because she wasn’t ready. She had trusted Kingston with her whole life. He had been there for her ever since she moved to this town in the middle of no where. Then he became part of the popular group and slowly they grew apart, until one day, she ended up in the hospital and he had came to visit her. They talked for a few days, and slowly days turned to weeks and weeks to months. As of today, they had been together for almost three years. And he ended it and broke her trust because of his friends. His friends who didn’t even know they had been dating for so long.

Clara wiped the tears from her face as she neared her house. She saw the curtain in the living room window move as Olly, her nine month old black lab, jumped up to see her. She felt a smile bloom on her face when his barks reached her ears. She quickened her step and slipped into the door, immediately bending down to greet him. He covered her face with slobbery kisses and she giggled. “Hey there, boy. Wanna go outside?” Olly’s ears perked up, causing Clara to giggle. “Let’s go, boy.” she said, dropping her stuff on the couch in her living room and running to the back door. Olly ran after her, his nails making clicking noises as they tapped against the wood flooring. He nipped at Clara’s thigh as they ran and she opened the door quickly, her and Olly taking off into the yard. Clara ran into the garage and grabbed Olly’s favorite ball and waving it to get his attention. “Here, Olly. Here, boy!” she whistled and Olly’s head popped up. He hesitated slightly and then jumped forward, his gallop-like clumsy run making Clara laugh. She tossed the ball and Olly made a sharp turn, slipping slightly and then gaining his balance back. Clara threw the ball a few more times, then put it away, Olly’s eyes following every movement she made from his spot on the ground. She watched him pant and then patted her leg, motioning for him to come inside. She refilled his water bowl and grabbed her stuff from the living room before making her way up to her room. She threw her stuff to the side of her room and plopped down on her bed, staring at the picture of her and Kingston together. His smile reflected hers and her eyes shone with happiness. The tears slowly began and she hugged the picture to her chest, where it would be close to her heart.

♫

Kingston sighed, his thoughts torturing him. All he could think of was Clara and the look of pain, intense pain, that shone in her eyes when he had made his decision. And then he had to go and do the one thing he had sworn to himself that he would never do. Now he knew Clara would never accept him back into her life if she would ever find out. He rolled over on his side and looked at the picture on his nightstand. Her blue eyes were bright with excitement and joy, her red hair framing her face perfectly. She had been flushed from their dancing at his sister’s wedding that he had invited her to go to with him as his date. Her pale skin looked so flawless in the pure white dress she had been wearing that night. He admired the picture that his sister had taken for them. They had both gotten a copy and kept it in the same place, right beside their bed so that the last thing they would see before they fell asleep was them together.

He wondered if she was doing the same thing he was, remembering that night, or had she already thrown that picture away. He wouldn’t blame her after the way he had treated her today. He felt a sting behind his eyes and blinked quickly, trying to keep the tears from falling. He glanced over at his phone and his fingers itched to send a text to her, to apologize, or at least try to call her. He reached for his phone and quickly dialed her number, bringing the phone to his ear. His insides tightened as he listened to the constant ring.. One… Two…Three… “Hey there. You have reached my phone. Sorry, I am not available now…” He hit the End button quickly and tossed his phone aside. He grabbed it again and his fingers flew across the screen as he quickly texted an apology to Clara.

Babe, look, I’m sorry. I

shouldn’t have treated u

the way i did. It wasn’t

fair of me 2 just do that

2 you. Please, let me make

it up to u! Let me take u

out 2 dinner tn! Please, I

want u 2 know ur the only grl

4 me. Ily babe.

He quickly sent the text and tossed his phone away from him. It hit the wall with a dull thud and he closed his eyes. He slipped into a deep sleep, his thoughts creating dark nightmares that he couldn’t pull himself out of.