An Un-Fairytale

the prince, it seems, has vanquished me --

made not a bride out of this flesh, but

a bested opponent -- foot to chest victory --

 

in his smiling irises I can almost see the reflection

            of his white steed tethered

            to an ancient Oak,

waiting to carry home the conquering hero

 

            the realization that I made it easy

is a dagger sharper than any sword, more biting

than the absence of words that rattle as chains do

                        around bruised appendages

 

            I am barren without his voice --

a seedpod emptied of its pearls and left to wither

beneath the relentless baking of the high-noon sun

 

and he is in his clapboard castle, some fifty miles away,

            carving notches into leather --

each slash signifying another distressed damsel

wilting in the remembrance of his poet's hands

 

we have become the epic -- verse upon sacred verse 

of welted memories, awake within the etchings and cracks

            of his exquisite armor

 

Reviews

[Blue Ivory]

It's rare for me to find poetry appealing lately. I don't know why. But you are one of the only writers I still find impressive. Your words have soul pouring out of them like a dark potion. Happy to have you in my friend list :)

[Great Aunt Astri]

I am very impressed by your use of imagery and narrative. I wonder if any fairy tale relationships actually exist? I see you have a book printed. Is it available in English book shops ?( I am afraid I refuse to buy off the Internet!!!)

[Rikkevi Rue]

spoken just like a girl! :-) Just kidding. You capture the unique poignance of that ubiquitous characteristic of heartache but without the cloying sappiness usually found in such works.To me, the appeal of this is the detached analytical coloring with which the teller relays the tale. Of course your metaphors are righteously descriptive and the poem has that delicate artisans touch, just the right amount of aesthetic to elevate and just enough reality to ground. Very enjoyable reading evoking a mix of wry humility and sardonic humor.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Well...it could be transitioned into a piece from the male perspective as well. Actually I thought about writing a companion piece in just that fashion...maybe I'll work on that :) I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Rikkevi Rue]

True that! Hadn't looked at it that way...I would love to see the companion piece, truly.

[LJW]

Relationships are indeed like a dance or a duel, or a joust. The winner is the one who stays on the horse the longest. The one who refuses to give up or give in no matter how obvious it is that the relationship has reached its end.

Nice work Sarah and congratulations on your new book.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much...and thank you for the congratulations on the book. I hope you'll pick up a copy, I think you'd like it! :)

[Einstein Noodle]

Wow! Exquisite telling of the tale...great job! men (and a few women) like that have no heart...i love that we are left with thoughts about those little cracks in his armor...surely he will get his one day...karma can undo the strongest castle. had to read again...fantastic job! this should be hung on every 12 yr. old daughter's door...
E.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much...I agree with you! I'm glad that you said what you did...little girls need to know these things, because fairy tales aren't always what they seem to be!

[Traci]

What a painful story you have penned, one many will relate to. Fairy tales are very seldom what we experience in "real" life.

"the realization that I made it easy
is a dagger sharper than any sword, more biting
than the absence of words that rattle as chains do
around bruised appendages"

We have no control over who we love, oftentimes stay in a relationship longer than we should, and tolerate more than we deserve, leaving us feeling as if "we made it easy" for him/her to treat us this way.

"we have become the epic -- verse upon sacred verse
of welted memories, awake within the etchings and cracks
of his exquisite armor"

Time heals all. These "welted memories" strengthen us, enabling us to take what we've learned, bringing it forth into the next relationship.

"and he is in his clapboard castle, some fifty miles away,
carving notches into leather --
each slash signifying another distressed damsel
wilting in the remembrance of his poet's hands"

Princes' like these are a reminder that we are worthy of so much more, and shouldn't settle for anything less. This princess definitely deserves much better than this prince, and someone who will treat her like a queen!!

Well done, my friend.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you, my dear friend :) Your words are always so encouraging...you are definitely someone I cherish!

[Anand Sehgal]

" the realization that I made it easy
is a dagger sharper than any sword, more biting
than the absence of words that rattle as chains do
around bruised appendages"

Trademark Sarah Expressions as always. Loved the theme

we have become the epic -- verse upon sacred verse
of welted memories, awake within the etchings and cracks
of his exquisite armor

A mighty end expressing a sense of destination :)

[William J. Marsh]

What an arrogant prince was he, to squander the pearls that could have blossomed and brought beauty to that clapboard castle of his.

[FlatLineBeauty]

I loved this. Heh, not every prince has the name charming that is for sure. Some only want to be there in times of need and give that shoulder for their own gain and fake through any emotions.

[Neverwhere]

Lovely flow, great word choice, evokes a great sense of a fairy tale and history. Not all fairy tales are Disney stories, are any of them, so the melancholy is particularly acute. Could be a story about any guy who is making notches on his bed-post, nice job with being timeless.