If There Be a Chance

what are we if not the foundations

of a beginning     dawn breaking lightly

upon a sleeping city     upon this house,

waking first the Palms and then the Orchids

 

we rise inside of reverie     sleep within

reality     somewhere our youthful priorities

became tangled when we traded passion

for matured restraint     losing as we lived

 

the metallic flavor of the future lingers

upon your lips when we kiss     prophecies

of a coming that cannot be addressed

without the bittersweet sting of woeful tears  

 

what are we if not the crumbling heart

of an impractical destiny     there is a pale moon

and there are faithful stars, but we have not gazed

upon them with lover’s eyes for far too long

 

if there be a chance     follow me into the rain

without worry of wet clothes or ruined shoes

lose your mind and give your hands a chance

to remind us both why children dream

Reviews

[Anand Sehgal]

we rise inside of reverie sleep within
reality

one of the best ones from you

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, Anand!

[Derek Smith]

this is not bad. I like the adjectives in it.. but hey take a chance, remember no one was ever remembered for not trying

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Glad you liked it.

[Tom]

Go on take a chance, you'll never know unless you try !

Love is a chance and so well conveyed Girl Friday in this imaginative peruse !

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I always take chances...but you need someone to take them with you :)

[Rita L. Sev]

what are we if not the foundations
of a beginning...

From this opening line, I knew I would love this piece. We go in so wide-eyed, with such foolish expectations... That last stanza is a gorgeous call to reawaken the dream, but this time much wiser...

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Wide-eyed...that's always the way I rush into things. I'm glad you enjoyed this one, Rita!

[s y e]

You brought tears to my eyes with this one, Sarah - this is absolutely beautiful. The wording and imagery of this write is stunning.

"if there be a chance follow me into the rain
without worry of wet clothes or ruined shoes
lose your mind and give your hands a chance
to remind us both why children dream"

-- my favourite stanza, you have such a lovely way with words Sarah. Love the story you told.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

You humble me, Noodle. Thank you!

[Melobldnfr]

Stunning. Moved me to tender tears. Would you mind if I shared this with someone?

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Of course, by all means :) I'm glad you enjoyed it enough to want to share.

[Melobldnfr]

You are welcome, and thank you. I just love it!

[Souladareatease]

Is this not stunning Beauty!!!
Excellent Write Friday...the dark loneliness, the crisp air of possibility and the bright future that could be with simple action...indeed what other thing is there worth losing the mind over eh?
Lovely Write!!!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

My mind is constantly being misplaced, found, and misplaced again...it's a curse :) Thank you, my friend.

[Astro]

A stunning call to faith and mountain of reality that must be challenged if illusion is ever to become something more. How foundations are built upon decide how the integrity of the structure will stand the test of time, if blood must be shed and tears must fall before the job is done then be sure the task is what you are capable of handling. All metaphorical cherry blossoms falling to earth in the rain, holding the aroma of promise in the grey sky of you tender words. Beautiful.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you, dear...once again, you have seen to the very heart of my writing. I appreciate your time and your considerate reading :)

[Astro]

Your work is worth it. :-)

[Pryde Foltz]

Splendid, Sarah. Loved the cadence and call to return to passion, both so strongly expressed.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, Pryde...I'm always delighted when you stop by!

[Pryde Foltz]

Right back at you.

[Leigh]

Oh yes I like this very much, the wording, phrasing and the last stanza, nice work

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, my friend!