Mika's revenge

Mika Chan can fly but her parents dont like that they send her to a doctor to get it fixed and he tortures her for two years trying to find her secret... does she get her revene

 “Don’t do that again Mika your going to get us in trouble,”

 

A small Asian girl descended from the scalloped stucco eggshell white ceiling landing on her feet. Her legs were spread in a feral position showing dominance over the other tot.

 

“OK, OK your such a whiney baby,” Tyler poked out a thick raspberry colored lip crossly stomping his feet.

 

“I’m not a baby Mika I’m three months older than you!”

 

Mika put her hands on her hips “ Prove it!”

 

“Prove what?”

 

“That your not a baby,” Mika said smiling smugly.

 

“Fine,” Tyler said plopping down amongst the toy bricks and dolls. He screwed his face up in concentration.

 

Mika hovered bouncily kicking her feet in the air small porcelain toes swinging impatiently.

 

Tyler looked at Mika with a complacent grin on his face. “I’m going to fly like you!”

 

Mika narrowed her eyes clapping her hands together “OK you have to do it now or you’re a baby and a poop-face,”

 

Tyler’s small piggish blue eyes widened apprehensively.  “I’m not a poop head,” he vociferated (cried a.e. Too complex word?) .

 

Obsidian orbs smiled back at Tyler. Mika grabbed his mall pudgy hands her feet brushed the floor. She wiggled her small toes and led Tyler through her messy psychedelic playroom. She nudged toys from in front of her parting the red sea of objects.  She kicked aside comfort blankets and old "style barbies. She punted plush blue bears and pink bouncy balls till she reached the golden glossy door knob to her room. She twisted the knob and pulled the door open.

 

“Your going to fly off the balcony,” Mika continued on pulling Tyler through the bright halls of her house.

 

Day windows streamed in sunlight leaving a glowing marks where its fingers touched and a clean smell. Mika excitedly ran her feet licking the lamenant floor. She stopped at the balcony door her chest in short quick strokes. She looked at Tyler smiling.

 

“Your going to fly like me and show our mommies and daddies!” She opened the door to the Balcony. Tyler looked out at the testing the ground and looking at the monstorous drop. The winds pressed against the tykes face it seemed to taunt him pushing him back.

 

“They’re going to be so happy,” Mika chattered. She once again took Tyler’s hand kicking off the ground trying to pull him upward.

 

“Mika,” Tyler dug his heels into the ground. The smooth stone burned the skin as he resisted.

 

“Come on Tyler!”

 

“NO MIKA I DON’T WANNA I CAN’T,”

 

Tyler squished his eyes shut contributing to his pig- like attributes.

Mika grabbed Tyler around his waist and sat him on the top of the rail.

 

Below Mika and Tyler’s parents stood below them

 

“And I said ‘No way we can’t be out of red ink and she said,”

 

“Is that my Tyler-poo?” A short stout woman whispered looking up at the marble balcony.

 

Simultaneously all of the adults looked up to see a very excited little girl and very scared Tyler on top of the rail of the balcony.

 

“Mommy look Tyler’s going to fly,”

 

Tyler’s mother panicked looked around for help.

 

“Put my baby on the ground!”

 

She rushed into the house heading u to the balcony. Mika cocked her head confused from the woman’s outburst and the angry faces. She was sure they’d be happy when James flew. Why was he crying he should be happy?

 

 

 

Tyler looked down his eyes wide with fear. He began to bawl Mika rolled her eyes and gave him a small push.

 

“MIKA I CAN’T FLY!”  He hollered as he plummeted.

 

TBC

This is obviously very unfinished just tell me what you think with this much done so I can make changes be4 moving on.

Author's Note

pls be very critical and if you mention grammar I know this stories grammar need alot of help. Thank you ver much if you do review

Reviews

[Kenzie Morg]

Oh wow, cliffhanger! Can't wait until the next part! I really like this story, but I think it would help if you added a little bit more detail or description to it, perhaps? I think It's a great beginning! Reminds me of studio Ghibli movies a bit. I liked the parts where you added great imagery and metaphors. Please keep up with the good work Mi Amiga, and pace this story a little more slowly, but I guess the imagery and emotion thing would help immensely. It's truly really good, I just thought it might have ended too early or that it was lacking enthusiasm. (Please don't think I am being rude!).

[Remember Courage]

Some parts were a bit confusing to read such as,
"Obsidian orbs smiled back at Tyler. Mika grabbed his mall pudgy hands her feet brushed the floor." I think this means Mika was smiling then grabbed tylers hands then I didn't know what the rest meant. Also in the beginning it was tough to catch on to what was happening. The last thing is that I was unsure about who was flying and who was scared. The dialogue was a bit confusing. The rest was cute and suspenseful and i really liked it.
-Courage