I Should Have Shouted

This is another poem following my "If I Could..." series template. I hope you enjoy it! This particular one is based on a "Shouting from a Mountain Top" theme.

I Should Have Shouted

If I could climb every mountain top,

And shout your name aloud,

I'd have my voice cascade the land,

echoing down from a cloud.

I'd stand at peaks forever you see,

My feet buried in the snow,

Sending your name through the sky,

Until my love is all you know.

Perhaps they would call me The Heart on High,

As my voice rang through the streets,

Containing every ounce of my heart,

Sound bouncing with every beat.

But one day perhaps I'd lose my voice,

Then all of the shouting would stop,

The world would wonder where I'd gone,

and my heart would start to drop.

Then back to leveled land I'd go,

With your name no longer my breath,

And realize, I should have shouted back then,

Not after a loved one's death. 

Author's Note

I hope you liked it! Feel free to check out the other poems from the "If I Could..." series like one of my more read words "Time Isn't Everything". This one followed a person who would shout from mountain tops to confess his love however the twist at the end reveals that the person he is confessing his love for has actually passed away and I feel like shouting from a mountain top would be the the persons idea of shouting the closest he could to heaven. Thank you for reading this!

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I love the way your poem took me on a journey of deep thinking. At first I was thinking how many times I've hiked to the top of various mountains & how that perspective is so compelling . . . you capture this perfectly in words, being above the fray, as if thoughts & feelings are clearer up there. But your poem keeps delving into this idea from a little bit different angle until finally we get to the sentiments in your title/ending. We all have regrets & your title line is exactly how it can feel at those times. So much we should have done differently, more passionately . . . believe me young pup, it gets so much more intense as the years go by! *sigh!* Fondly, Margie

[Nicholas Duboe]

Always a pleasure to read your comments. Thank you!

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing poem and I agree. Need to shout-out the names of the people we love. When near. Thank you Nicholas for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Novicepoet14]

this is a wonderful piece. i found myself almost going on an emotional journey. raw emotion came through and it really hit a cord with me. i absolutely love it.

[Nicholas Duboe]

What a kind comment! I really appreciate it very much

[TPK Stories]

A wel written story of true love.....

[Chan Chan]

Waow I thought this was going to be happy and then it hit me in the feelings. I love poetry, this reads like a song. I live it

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you very much!

[George Peck]

I love this poem it is great. I was thinking you could have added something more along the lines or recording your voice but that's just me it is wonderful the way it is sorry if you don't like the thought it's just that not even sure why I wrote nor why I'm keeping it guess I just wanted to be honest. Thank you for sharing hope to read more from you.

[Nicholas Duboe]

I think recordings are a great idea. Thanks for the comment.

[George Peck]

Anytime I love what you have written love to read more thanks

[A.G.]

wow. beautiful piece you shared here. smooth flow and moving. i honestly loved it (:
thanks for sharing!
-Angelina

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you very much!

[JSAECH]

I enjoyed the visual your poem sparked. I also enjoyed the last verse.

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you very much!

[Lost]

The pacing and flow of this poem is lovely. I don’t often write with a rhyme scheme, and I always appreciate pieces that seem to execute one so effortlessly like this because it’s an effect I often struggle to achieve. I love that the twist isn’t even hinted at until it happens in the final stanza; it gives it a much more jarring and emotional effect. Great poem dude :) 🤙🏽

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you very much! I appreciate you taking the time to read it!

[Lost]

My pleasure :)

[emipoemi]

Overall, you've written a moving piece here. It grabs at the heart and tugs at the soul, allowing readers to feel deeply about life in general. You do however, have some wordy lines and choppy flow here and there, and I would advise some tweaks so you really have a gem to be proud of. Because nothing mars a poem more than awkward flow. That ending really threw it over the top. Well done!

[Nicholas Duboe]

I greatly appreciate the comment. May I ask for examples on possible tweaks to consider? I have had comments such as this before and I am always open to looking back over my work. Thank you for reading!

[emipoemi]

it would take me a bit of time to give specifics. All I can say is, if you read over the poem, and find certain lines don't quite match the overall musicality, then tweak them so that they do. If you find certain words that are just thrown in there for no particular reason, take them out (they don't add anything to the poem, and quite often simply add unnecessary beats to the lines). You can feel errors if you're reading your work (or anyone else's) properly. Good luck.