Ink

I get ink stains on my fingers

because I play with my pen

when I’m thinking.

And I’ll frequently end up

with it on my face.

Some girls get racoon eyes

from their mascara.

But I get this war paint

in smears and streaks.

Author's Note

Feedback?

Reviews

[Jo Billygoat]

Better war paint on your face that can be wiped away than the scars of life etched in your heart.

Get rid of the pain with parcel and quill so that you don't burden your soul.

Letting lose the minds contraptions lets one's heart pulsate with less intensity.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

War paint? Hmm, that speaks volumes. "The pen is mightier than the sword" is what it brought to mind. Nicely written poem. tyfs

[Just Kim]

This is really cute, enjoyed this write

[Oydrin]

I think there's still potential energy sitting in the contrasting the usual mascara with the smears by your pen. By that I mean you could add a little more detail there to sustain the drama. Something like a punchline effect, perhaps. Perhaps four more lines in between. I personally feel it ended too soon. So there. If you like, you could give that contrast a little more kick.

I'm saying this because this part "Some girls get racoon eyes from their mascara" felt a lot like a build up to something -- to another scene. Then I'm surprised that the following 2 lines were already the ending. In other words, the poem got me excited on that part, and I had hoped for a little more time on the crest.

I do appreciate it very much which is why I'm saying all these. I think it's something. But of course, the writer's style (you) is king -- or in your case, queen. So there. Keep writing! :)

[Franky]

Very random....honest....and a delight!

[Danny Metcalfe]

Really nice poem. Creates a great image in the mind of the reader. Especially equating war paint with the pen.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

especially like the imagery in the last four lines.

war paint, smears, streaks.
Poems.

[Audie G. Couch]

Very revealing, and descriptive. I liked this poem very much. Especially, the last two lines.