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Alone

Alone

A Poem by Gregory H.

I sit here alone,
in this empty room.
What should I do,
I have not a clue.

My siibilings are fighting,
they're driving me nuts.
So I'll keep on writing,
and saving my guts.

From sisters with nails,
and a brother with a temper.
When books start to sail,
they'll need to remember.

That in their dispute,
there's one thing that's greater.
The kindness of words,
and love from a hater.

What is the meaning,
you may ask yourself.
It's really quite simple,
I'll explain what it's about.

It takes two to tango,
is what they all say.
The same goes for fighting,
it takes two to stray.

While killing each other,
I sit here and wonder.
For what reason on earth,
you'd slay one another.

The reason is clear,
as mud in a glass.
So put down your fists,
and give them a kiss.

And maybe just then,
the anger will die.
The fists will come down,
the claws will retract.

Then all will return,
the way that it was.
With me in the floor,
of my dark empty room.

© 2010 Gregory H.


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Reviews

I think this might be my favorite from you so far. (: I really like this, the concept and all. Great poem.!!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

First thing I noticed was that your broke from your rhyming scheme about halfway through and it broke the tempo of your work. It also seems as though your scratching the surface of what you really want to say. Possibly limiting your actual feelings and sacrificing them in favor of form and rhyme.

As your friend below said, try experimenting a bit with different form and digging a little deeper. Don't limit yourself to form and function. Explore the true depths of your thoughts and words.

Posted 9 Years Ago


"Love from a hater". . . awesome!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Absolutely beautiful love. Great imagery, fantastic flow and amazing rhyme scheme.
Keep it up ^_^

*hugs and kisses*
Shannon

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was great. I can relate so much to this write. I liked your flow and I had a picture in my head of your bro and sis fighting, nicely done.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Dear Gregory,

Thank you -sincerely- for all you have did for me. Thank you for your read request and for sharing this with me, your reader.

Your poetry is growing into a more broad sense, but work on expression of how you feel because it feels that you are the mercy of the poem just glimpsing through. As I reread through, I picked up more of your great potential. Your rhymes don't seem forced. It all seems to flow, just work on experimenting or maybe writing longer so that when you read it, it doesn't make the reader become unfocused. Don't get me wrong, Greg. I loved this work and it's general theme as it's one that I can relate to, but something in it just seems a little off. A lack of depth perhaps. You're a great writer.

Thanks again for the read request. You are an inspiration to me to keep writing and growing. Down the road of hard times, don't forfeit what is within you. You are your own best inspiration. Those around you will envy you and hate you when you soar over their heads, but remember to always keep writing. If you want me to proofread this a bit, just give me a message and I will. 9.3/10.

Thanks again.

Sincerely,
S. W. Scaggs

Posted 9 Years Ago


It flowed really well!
Very cute.
*.*

Posted 9 Years Ago


sorry forgot to rate it

Posted 9 Years Ago


great job on ryming and i love how heart felt and stuff it was

Posted 9 Years Ago


loved the flow. there are some spelling errors and the rhymes seamed kind of childish. Thats not a bad thing, i did still like this.

Posted 9 Years Ago



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13 Reviews
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Added on February 15, 2010
Last Updated on February 15, 2010

Author

Gregory H.
Gregory H.

Seaford, DE



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See more stickers | Share this sticker! glitter-graphics.com I am currently 19 years old. I have finished high school and am currently waiting to be deployed into the United States Marines Corps.. more..

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