Breathe Easy

I would love feedback!

An abundance of butts abreast the curb,

flicked farewell by fellows who felt suave for five,

an innocent adolescent, I found one emitting scent,

I picked it up, it picked me up, so I picked it up.

Author's Note

Thoughts?

Reviews

[Diana]

I think I prefer this version to "Heavy Breathing." Butts abreast the curb brings other...ahem, imagery to mind. If humor, was your goal you achieved it there. I like the lyricism in the second line, nice use of alliteration.